To my friends here

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by root, Nov 7, 2003.

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  1. root

    root Registered Member

    Feb 19, 2002
    Missouri, USA
    For some time now, I have enjoyed learning, as much as my feeble mind will handle, about internet security and safe, enjoyable computing. I have also enjoyed being able to share what I have learned with other people that were also looking for answers, opinions, etc.

    Lately, as some of you may have noticed, I have not been participating much here or on any of the other boards I frequent. Sad to say, it may still be a little longer before I return to my previous level of participation, good news for some perhaps.

    A little before this last Labor Day weekend, I had the misfortune of getting assigned a new Doctor as my primary care provider at the VA (Veterans Administration). As I soon found out, he happens to be one of those old time physicians that is afraid to prescribe adequate pain management medications, stating things like you could get addicted to that stuff.
    Well, I have been on Oxycontin for the last two and a half years, and there is no doubt that taking a medication such as that, you do develop a dependency on it. I told him such and said if you won't prescribe it, at least help me to taper off, as sudden cessation of such meds will induce severe withdrawal symptoms. Well, he wouldn't even do that. Also would not talk about what to do about pain management as I can't take NSAIDs because they give me bleeding ulcers.

    To fast forward thru a lot of VA BS that went on and getting no help there, I went back to my old family Doctor and he is giving me prescriptions for the lower dose, less effective Oxycodone/Tylenol. It's making life bearable, but I still have been going thru some pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms and a lot of shaking for the last few of weeks. I have to pay full price for this, but it's not too bad. Couldn't afford Oxycontin.

    I can't imagine what Rush is going thru.

    So, while I'm trying to get adjusted to this, Labor Day weekend rolls around and My wife of 15 years informs me she wants to seperate. I had an idea this was coming but we had always had a great relationship and hoped it would not. Lot of things involved and it's complicated. Anyway, this kind of knocked me off center for a while, and I am still trying to adjust to a different lifestyle and loosing something that has always been a joy to my heart. We are still friends, and I have no anger or bad feelings toward her, but it is a terrible loss to me. She's still trying to sort things out, but in reality, there's no reason to believe anything can be done to ease the conditions that are causing the difficulties.

    Then a few days later, my hard drive crashed - big time. Lost a lot of info I had backed up, but still on the same drive. Since my wife had been supplying a large part of the budget, this was not what I needed. My Mom and Dad felt sorry for me so they helped me get a new computer as the old one wasn't worth putting more money into. My wife also helped as much as she could.

    I'm human and got off center for a while, but sanity is returning. I had pizza with the wife last night, and we can still be friends. That's important, and I wish her only the best. I'll miss her, but I am reminded of something I read in one of Gibrans books about people in our lives. Sometimes two people walk the same path for a while, and sometimes it is necessary for their paths to split, each to fulfill his/her own destiny.

    I'm starting to gain a little interest in the web again, and I miss connecting with many of my friends here. I got reminded of how small my problems are in reading about the problems Blaze and Jan have been having with their eyesight.

    I hate melodrama and hope this doesn't come across as such. I do not feel sorry for myself, and I am not looking for sympathy. Just want to let you good people know that I care about you enough, that I would not just stop comming around without reason. Hopefully, soon, I will be able to make myself at least a little helpful around here.
  2. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Oct 12, 2002
    Root, be glad to see you when you get back. I hope everything works out for you OK.
  3. the Tester

    the Tester Registered Member

    Jul 28, 2002
    The Gateway to the Blue Hills,WI.

    It's good to see you back here.

    Take care and I hope that everything works out for you.

    Best Regards,
    the Tester.
  4. Dan Perez

    Dan Perez Retired Moderator

    May 18, 2003
    Sunny San Diego
    Hi root!!!

    It is great to see you around here again! I only wish it could be under better circumstances but hopefully your outlook will become better for conversing with your many friends here.

    There are some good doctors working in VA hospitals but they are few and far between.

    I very much hope things work out well and quickly for you!!!
  5. Uguel707

    Uguel707 Graphic Artist

    Nov 9, 2002
    San Diego
    Hi Root!

    I read your post and I must say that I truly symphathize with what you said.

    It's bad that you cannot get the medication to ease the pain. I know what pain is. I have to take medicine myself for I've suffered since childhood from Rhumathoid Arthritis but the doctors discovered it just 2 years ago when my hand and foot started swelling! :( I've got to take one "Vioxx" a day but its not too good for the stomach. So I alternate with "natural medicine" in order not to get too much heartburn. I have good spirits but not good health. :)

    And this has been the key for me, good spirits help pull me through lots of difficulties and you have to give yourself a chance to raise your spirits by continuing to interact with people, do activities that get you sun and exercise, fun hobbies...

    I hope everything turns around for you soon!


  6. snapdragin

    snapdragin Registered Member

    Feb 16, 2002
    Southern Ont., Canada
    oh dear root, you have been through so much....and this is not going to be an easy journey for you for some while yet, but you will get stronger, and our hugz and friendship will always be here for you.

    miss you deeply...{{{tight hugz}}}

  7. Pretender

    Pretender Registered Member

    Apr 23, 2002
    Virtual Paradise
    Root, I have to say from personal experience that the VA sucks big time nowadays. I am a Vietnam Vet and have worked at the VA (eight and a half yrs) and have been a patient of the VA and still am. I recently had to purchase an electric scooter for myself.........why? Disabled due to a botched surgery by a VA surgeon! I hate going to any appts at the VA med ctr where I live, but have too due to requiring numerous Meds uncluding Pain Meds because of what the VA surgeon did to me. Have you tried changing your primary care doctor? You have the right to request a new primary care doctor! What I would suggest that you do is to file an 1151 claim with your VA Regional Office stating that the treatment you are receiving from the VA Med Ctr has created and/or aggravated your health (pain). Won't kid takes forever........I just spent over six and a half yrs fighting the VA so that they would take responsibility for what they allowed to happen to me and finally they acknowledge their responsibility. There are still some issues to deal with, but I expect them to be resolved in a lot less than another six or seven yrs. Perhaps you could check with your state "dept of Vets Affairs" as they aren't connected with the VA........they are employed by the state in which you live to assist the veterans of that state. Guess I'll let you go for now. One last comment.....don't you wish sometimes that you could somehow transfer your pain to another so that they could personally experience what you are going through?!?!
  8. solarpowered candle

    solarpowered candle Registered Member

    Jan 9, 2003
    new zealand
    Hey Root , Its good you have posted , have also wondered where you had disapered too , . I have the unfortunate situation of living with much pain also ( I am like a rag doll sewn together) and having gone thru a separation 14 yrs ago now . I cannot remain on meds as they are too much after 30 yrs. I have a homeopathic Dr . I also find this study very helpful especially the book or CD " Living the liberated life and dealing with the pain body" and " Practicing the power of now"
    any ways my freind may deep peace be yourz ..

    same to pretender and Uguel
  9. root

    root Registered Member

    Feb 19, 2002
    Missouri, USA
    Thanks for the kind words and thoughts from all of you. It's always amazing to me how many people have trouble getting adequate treatment for chronic pain in this day and age. Sad indeed.

    Pretender, I'm kind of stuck right now. I go to a VA clinic with only one doctor. I am considering getting on the list to transfer to Columbia VA, but theres a nine month wait right now.

    SPC, I have tried everything from acupuncture to voodoo, holistic, chiropracters, and on and on. I'm doing ok for the time being, but it has been an interesting experience coming off the oxycontin. I am glad you seem to have found some help at least.

    Life is what it is. You can fight it or you can live it. Every day, I'm getting used to the changes a little more. Nice to have friends in places like this.
  10. Detox

    Detox Retired Moderator

    Feb 9, 2002
    Texas, USA
    My best hopes for you, Root.
  11. hayc59

    hayc59 Guest

    Root, it is so nice to hear from you!!
    I am sorry the dilemma you are facing
    and hope and will have a good thought for you.
    Miss you very much(the great advise and wisdom)
    God Bless You....Gordon
  12. crockett

    crockett Registered Member

    Jul 15, 2002
    Hi Root ;)

    Hope everything is gonna work out fine for you...

    Many here always spare a few thoughts for you when connecting to this bboard.

    Never could forget you were one of the very first to help the newcomer I once was...

    Friendly thoughts,
    Crockett :cool:

    'Holding on, speaking up, reaching out.'
    Bernie Siegel M.D.
  13. Pieter_Arntz

    Pieter_Arntz Spyware Veteran

    Apr 27, 2002
    Hi root,

    I wish this will get worked out in the best possible way.
    Knowing you, you will not take this lying down.
    Be assured that our love and support is something you can always count on. You have certainly earned it, by giving it yourself to those who needed it.


  14. Pretender

    Pretender Registered Member

    Apr 23, 2002
    Virtual Paradise

    Perhaps you could demand "fee basis" treatment! Surely there's someone in your vicinity that can explain the possibilities to you by phone or whatever. "Fee Basis" is when the VA will contract out to another medical treatment whatever because the VA Clinic and/or the VA Medical Center is unable to provide the treatment needed. I would for sure file a claim (with the VA Regional Office of Jurisdiction in your state) stating that the treatment that you have/are receiving by the VA is causing and/or aggravating your condition. The VA is getting by way too much because most Veterans are not educated enough about what their entitlements are and what their rights are.

    FootNote: The VA will not tell you what is available so beware.
  15. eyespy

    eyespy Registered Member

    Feb 20, 2002
    Oh Canada !!
    Hi Root,
    I'm only just reading this post. I'm hoping things have improved somewhat since your initial post.
    Root, you have made many friends here over the past couple of years and it shows. Forum members are concerned about fellow forum members and I am one of them. One day at time Root. And we look forward to having you back here on a regular basis.
    Wishing you the very best!!
    Take care.

    bill :)
  16. root

    root Registered Member

    Feb 19, 2002
    Missouri, USA
    I really appreciate the replies I have received here from everyone. Like I said, there are many here I see as friends.
    I am feeling better, one day at a time, and I think the treadmill is helping a lot.
    Who would have thought even 10 years ago, that there would be places like this on the internet, where people from all over the globe would get together for the sole purpose of learning and then sharing what you have learned with others?
    Maybe there is hope for the human race. :D
  17. Cochise

    Cochise A missed friend

    Jan 26, 2003
    North Thoresby Lincs Good Olde England
    Always remember those famous words by William Shakespeare Root me old mate:-

    "Don't let the B+++++ds grind ya down"

    I've always said that if friends were Life we would all live forever.

    Stay :cool:

    Regards, Cochise (Also :cool:)
  18. FanJ

    FanJ Guest

    Dear Root, Bob and Uguel,

    My sympathy goes out to you all (as it does to all with so much pain and so much troubles).
    I feel so very sorry for you all, for all the pain you're going through.
    I do wish ALL of you ALL the strength needed !!!!!!!!!!!!
    You are in my thoughts !!!!!!!

    I really do apologize for not replying earlier. I was hardly on-line due to personal circumstances and trying to do some testing. (In the coming days I might be again less on-line than I wished to).

    Wishing all of you all the best !!!!!!!!
    Please take good care of yourselves !!!!!!!!

    Warm regards, Jan.
  19. root

    root Registered Member

    Feb 19, 2002
    Missouri, USA
    Thanks Jan. Nice to hear from you again.
    My thoughts go with you too, my friend. Please stay in touch.
  20. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

    Nov 22, 2002
    At my computer
    Hi Root - Altho' I have not gotten to know you on these forums, I wish to express my best wishes for wellness and that you may be free of chronic pain. I truly understand what you are going through as I have lived with chronic pain 24 hrs/day since 1987. Many on Wilders forums are caring and from them you can gather strength as I have.

    Strength and Courage

    It takes strength to be certain,
    It takes courage to have doubts.

    It takes strength to fit in,
    It takes courage to stand out.

    It takes strength to share a friend's pain,
    It takes courage to feel your own pain.

    It takes strength to hide your own pain,
    It takes courage to show it and deal with it.

    It takes strength to stand guard,
    It takes courage to let down your guard.

    It takes strength to conquer,
    It takes courage to surrender.

    It takes strength to endure abuses,
    It takes courage to stop them.

    It takes strength to stand alone,
    It takes courage to lean on a friend.

    It takes strength to love,
    It takes courage to be loved.

    It takes strength to survive,
    It takes courage to live.

    May you find strength and courage
    in everything you do,
    And may your life be filled with
    Friendship and Love!
  21. Acadia

    Acadia Registered Member

    Sep 8, 2002
    SouthCentral PA
    Nice one, Peaches. Root, I ditto all of the above, especially the above "quote" from Peaches.

  22. subratam

    subratam Registered Member

    Nov 14, 2003
    Issaquah, WA
    hey root,
    was just going through the thread..... we are all with you,
    you are ok man... i am seeing you... hey see you are smiling so... come on... so... wanna have some bacons... ooh k lataz... lol
    root... life is a journey
    through hardships and pain....
    there will be sorrows a lot...
    but buddy.. thrs a lot to gain...
    take care :)
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