Time's Up, Einstein

Are you purposing, the bigger balls have more energy?

 

You still might need Einstein to find the right stud... Before your Time is Up.

http://abyss.uoregon.edu/~js/ast123/lectures/lec09.html

 

Al was known to frequent the Track on the sly. He was a successful horse breeder but finding the right stud was not one of his talents. I think his most famous achievement was the breeding of "Beetlebomb".

Ding!!! Time is up!!

Play on, big ed

 

Is that the one about "Banana coming up through the bunch"?.......


Cochise,

 

Yup..those were the days Albert had spiked hair. I still have all the Jones Boys stuff on 78's.


William Tell Overture SPIKE JONES

(With apologies to Dante Rossini)



It's a beautiful day for the race

Stooge Hand is the favorite today

Assault is in there

Dog Biscuit is 3 to 1

Safety Pin has been scratched

Ya ya

And at 20 to 1 ... Beetlebomb



Now the horses are approaching the starting gate

And there they go!!



And it's Stooge Hand going to the front

Cabbage is second on the rail

Beautiful Linda is third by a length

And ... Beetlebomb



Around the first turn

Stooge Hand is still in front

Cabbage is second by a head

Cabbage by a head

Beautiful Linda is third

And ... Beetlebomb



Into the back stretch

Dog Biscuit is now leading the pack

Lady Evelyn is second, very close

Banana is coming up through the bunch

Banana coming up through the bunch

And ... Beetlebomb



At the half

Stooge Hand still out in front

Apartment House is second with plenty of room

Assault is passing Battery

Assault and Battery

Notary Sojac is fourth

And in last place by 10 lengths

I believe it is, yes it is ...

Beetlebomb



Around the turn heading for home

It's Stooge Hand and Dog Biscuit

And Girdle in the stretch

Flying Sylvester is third

And Mother-In-Law nagging in the rear

Oh oh oh



And now they come down to the wire

And it's number one

And now number two

And it's very close

There'll need to be a photo finish

Or an oil painting

And now Louis leads with a left

And Louis is in there slugging

And it's a battle

And now they're tearing hair

There's hair all over the ring

There's hair all over the place

I don't know whose hair it is, ah ah

It's mine



And there goes the winner ...



INSTRUMENTAL



Beetlebomb



(Note: Notary Sojac was a recurring nonsense couplet in the cartoon strip Smokey Stover which did to print what Spike Jones did to music.)


http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2001-08-31/screens_video2.html

 

http://www.macedition.com/partingshot/partingshot_20011130.gif

 

Hey Primrose,

I distinctly remember a verse with "Toothpaste is being squeezed on the rail". Methinks Spikey must have made up a few extra ones. As Cochise mentioned, Banana was in there too! Al would have gotten to the bottom of this conundrum by now!

This is of such great importance that I cannot let it slide. I guess I will have to travel to the ends of the Earth for the answers. I'll wear my parachute just in case!

 

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Horace.
Horace who?
Horace....

And there they go... It's toupee going on ahead, long underwear has fallen
down behind, and toothpaste is being squeezed out on the rail.



Bunny, hopping into an early lead, Strawberry is in a jam, Tooth Paste is being squeezed out at the rail.


Albert Einstein gave us a truthful, if playful, formula. He
said, "If A = success, the formula is A = X + Y with X being
work, Y being play and Z, keeping your mouth shut.”




It's Einstein's world; We just live in it
(Agencies) Updated: 2005-04-19 10:36


Blame Albert Einstein for rousting you out of bed. Your clock sounds precisely at 6 a.m. because it's one of those fancy digital models that is synchronized with the government's atomic clocks and calibrated every second through the Global Positioning Satellite array circling the Earth.


U.S. Army investigators taking a reading in Afghanistan from the Global Positioning Satellite array would be hopelessly misdirected if Einstein's theories did not allow the satellites to correct for the effects of relativity. [Joe Raedle / Getty Images file]

If they could not correct for the effects of relativity, Einstein's most famous discovery, GPS signals would accumulate so many errors that their data would be meaningless.

6:15 a.m. You nick yourself shaving and drip toothpaste on your shirt.

Blame Einstein for the mess. His creation of a formula to measure the size of molecules dissolved in liquids made it possible for scientists ¡ª among many other, more important, leaps ¡ª to create or improve thousands of consumer products, including better shaving creams and toothpastes.

6:30 a.m. You click on the television to check the weather and traffic. It's raining, and the traffic cameras show that the cars are already backed up for miles on the interstate. It's going to be a rough commute.


Blame Einstein for your bad mood. His declaration of the photoelectric effect made possible the eventual invention of television cameras. And the remotes that control them. Also, digital cameras wouldn't work.

You've been up for just a half-hour, and already your day is being controlled by Albert Einstein.

"How do you explain it?" asked John Rigden, a physicist at Washington University in St. Louis and author of "Einstein 1905."

After all, when Time magazine named Einstein its Person of the Century, it chose him over "all of the other people that made their indelible mark on the 20th century, all of the practical people ¡ª [Bill] Gates, you could go on and on."

The flash of inspiration

Most likely, we think of Einstein first as the man who paved the way to development of the atomic bomb. This is not the right way to look at him.


Albert Einstein in 1921, the year he was awarded the Nobel Prize for theories he enunciated in his great year of 1905. [Hulton Archive via Getty Images]

Michel Janssen, a science and technology historian at the University of Minnesota, points out that Einstein had virtually nothing to do with developing the bomb, which grew out of the work of more up-to-date physicists in the 1930s.

Einstein, in fact, was refused security clearance to have any role in the Manhattan Project, said Janssen, who was trained as a physicist and edited the volumes of Einstein's collected papers on relativity.

However, many of Einstein's other theories, which began pouring out in a burst of incandescent creativity 100 years ago, turned physics and our understanding of the natural world on their heads, giving scientists the tools to mold almost every observable aspect of life as we live it in 2005.

Einstein's work gave us much more than eventual perfection of television, remote controls and digital cameras.

His postulation of the photon (a "particle" of light) and the photoelectric effect ¡ª which was described in his first great paper of 1905 and won him the Nobel Prize in 1921 ¡ª gave us scores of everyday applications.

Einstein's identifying of photons underlay the development of many of the advanced electronic inventions of the 20th century. It was the statement of the quantum effect, without which we would not have cellular telephones or smoke detectors or burglar alarms or those doors that automatically open at the supermarket or on the elevator.




Indeed, you can argue that the entire field of computers and semiconductors owes its existence to Einstein's paper of March 17, 1905.

That's why it's pointless to speculate about what he might have accomplished had he been born 75 or 80 years later and therefore been able to use computers.

Without his having done the work he did when he did it, we might not have computers today, or at least not in the form we recognize.

Albert who?

Moreover, it's possible that in today's scientific world, Einstein would have trouble getting his ideas heard.

Science today is an institutionalized pursuit, regimented by a hierarchy of credentials. What are your degrees?

What university or research institute are you affiliated with? How much peer-reviewed research have you published? How much grant money can you command?

While Einstein's work at the patent office in Bern, Switzerland, gave him wide opportunity to conduct sophisticated experiments on advanced submissions, he was, in his great year of 1905, still a 26-year-old government worker.

Recognizing 'something profound'

"Would Einstein be able, in 2005, to become recognized as he did in 1905?" Rigden asked. "That's a really open question."

"It's not clear to me that he would be able to do that. If intelligent people really gave his manuscripts a careful read, they would have recognized something profound. He might be published, but boy, it's not clear. He was fortunate to have lived when he did."

Robert Schulmann, who co-edited Einstein's collected papers and is former director of the Einstein Papers Project, is more hopeful that his voice would have broken through.

The journal that published his 1905 papers, Annalen der Physik, was the leading physics journal of the day. Among the editors who reviewed his submissions were Nobel laureate Wilhelm Roentgen, who discovered X-rays, and Max Planck, another Nobel winner, who came as close to matching Einstein in sheer brain power as anyone else ever did.

If such esteemed editors found merit in the theories of the government clerk then, Schulmann said, it is likely that they would do so today.

But even Schulmann said it would be an iffy proposition. Much of Einstein's work was multidisciplinary and abstract, while physics today is focused and empirical.

"The possibility of coming out of almost nowhere, for a number of reasons, wouldn't work today because of the highly philosophical character of his work. The questions he asked himself ... deal with space and time, which are philosophical concepts,¡± said Schulmann, who is at work on a biography of Einstein.

Janssen said there was "something special about the age that Einstein was working where he was, in a way, the right man at the right time at the right place. Between 1900 and 1925, you saw this tremendous overhaul of physics, and it is hard to imagine that today we're going to see an overhaul on that scale."

The paper on the photoelectric effect was just one of several that Einstein issued in 1905 that fundamentally altered how physicists look at the world. From the other papers came an almost equally wide range of modern applications:

Compact disc and DVD players use lasers, which Einstein first theorized in 1917 in advancing his work on the photoelectric and photovoltaic effects. "We have lasers in every supermarket checkout lane," Rigden said.

Medical revolutions like the PET scan rest on positrons, described by science journalist Robert Matthews as "antimatter electrons," whose existence was implied by special relativity and quantum theory. (Science fiction revolutions, too: Antimatter, in reaction with matter, is what makes the Enterprise jump into warp speed in the "Star Trek" universe.)

Carbon dating. We can take a stab at measuring how old fossils are thanks to Einstein (E=mc2 shows that mass and energy are interconnected; by measuring the degradation of nuclei in atoms of organic materials, the theory goes, we can measure how long they¡¯ve been degrading).

And all those everyday consumer products, which owe their existence, in no small part, to manufacturing methods that wouldn't work without Einstein's enunciation of the atomic theory of matter. In essence, he proved that atoms exist.

Before Einstein's paper of May 1905, "many reputable scientists didn't believe in atoms," Rigden said. "May 1905 put the last nail in the coffin [of atomism naysayers]. No longer could the reality of atoms be denied."

"The nucleus wasn't even discovered until 1909, so Einstein's prescience was off the charts."

Most important, perhaps, was Einstein's restoration of the belief in the power of reason and intellect. He gave science back its confidence.

"Before the First World War, there was still a lot of faith in rationality. The First World War smashed this faith in reason pretty irreparably," Schulmann said.

"And here you had a man detached from all of the events of the First World War, basically, who with a pencil and paper was able to explain the logical and rational way that the world and the universe worked."

Rigden suggested that "the first contribution that Einstein made that dramatically affects our lives was that he did it with the power of his mind."

Einstein "wasn't blessed with experimental data ¡ª it was mostly abstract ideas," he said. "That is a distinctive aspect of homo sapiens: We have a big brain. ..."

"He is a standard because of what he did. And how he did it."

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-04/19/content_435508.htm

 

That is the wrong forumula if you want to knock your socks off..

For the study, a team at Groningen scanned the brains of 24 men and women using a technique called positron emission tomography.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,15689447-13762,00.html

 

Oy vey!! I was socked......err shocked whilst crusing that site. Veddy intedesting (in my best Sgt. Shultz)! What else was the Groningen team scanning?

Play on, big ed

 

Anything that moved under the microscope to see if it would Moan again

 

I know for a fact that one of the main results that came to light during the test on 24 men regarding the study of Tomology.........two point 7 of the study group where called Tom!.......isn't science a wonderful thing?.....
The 'Point 7' Tom was sent back to the Lab and was painlesslessly put to sleeep.......

Cochise,

I've saved that bit by Primrose about 'Big Alberts World' in case I'm ever shipwrecked somewhere....it will give me something to read until rescue arrives......

 

I've just found this little known piece of interest about Einstein....it appears his Wife once bought him a Denture Glass for his birthday because she knew he was always looking for something to get his teeth into......


Cochise,

 

If those numbskulls in Troy had used one of those scope thingys when presented w/the Wooden Horse we all would still be wearing Togas and sipping ouzo!

Play on, big ed

 

.....

 

,,,,,

 

OR....

 

Aare you KIDDING me?! NOTHING is off topic in this thread! LOL!

You just wished you had found those jokes first!

 

Albert was shipwrecked once with a guy named Alex Tom who went overboard with only his Denture Glass. They drifted to a "Remote Island" where they set up house together. Albert then came up with his "Super Theory" about the A.Tom.

He suggested if Alex set up the BBC then Albert would work on his own BEC.
Einstein guessed that these same rules might apply to A.Toms. He worked out the theory for how A.Toms would behave in a gas from BBC if these new rules applied. What he found was that the equations said that generally there would not be much difference, except at very low temperatures. If the A.Toms were cold enough, something very unusual was supposed to happen. It was so "strange" he was not sure it was correct. Einstein's equations predicted was that at normal temperatures the A.Toms would be in many different levels at the BBC. However, at very low temperatures, a large fraction of the A.Toms would suddenly go crashing down into the very lowest energy level.

BEC - What is it and where did the idea come from?

caution: this link contain's graphic Denture Glass controls.

Bose-Einstein Condensation

http://www.colorado.edu/physics/2000/bec/what_is_it.html


While Alex used that Denture Glass for a Shot Glass. The BBC flourished. He understood that an A.Tom in the lowest energy level at the BBC is spread out a little, so it looks like a very small fuzzy ball. When you have lots of A.Toms in the same state, all these fuzzy balls lie exactly on top of each other.



Now you can see why it was so long before people understood what BBC really meant. A.Toms really can all be in the same place like this, but it goes against everything we see around us. It is only at the special incredibly low temperatures needed for the BBC that they lose their individual identities and coalesce into a single blob. Some people have called this a "super A.Tom" for just that reason.

"game, set and match" for fuzzy balls
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1406612.stm

So you might ask what every happened to Albert ?
He is still with us Today..drawing Crop Circle..playing with fuzzy balls near the village of Hanbury...

http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmiclocal.htm

For more information please contact the Chief at BBC-BYOB

 

IF YOU READ PRIMROSE'S STORY ABOUT EINSTEIN, WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE SCIENCE ACCORDING TO THAT AUTHOR, OK, OK, I'LL FIND A PICTURE OF EINSTEIN FOR YA! GEEESH!

 

Bust his chops Girl.. They got all the beef in Texas..But Einstein predicted the Wooden Horse could never go Mooo...unless ya cloned it like Mr. Ed. but even then..it might bark like a willow.

 

Thanks, Prim!