Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by beetlejuice, Sep 28, 2003.

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  1. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Oct 12, 2002
    Top 10 Survivor Tips for Dad.
    10. Never,ever lose control of the remote!
    9. Never buy a toy that must be assembled by adults.
    8. Stop after the first child.
    7. When your kid says that you are "PHAT", it might actually be a compliment.
    6. All purpose answer: "Go ask your Mother".
    5. Threaten to turn the car around, and then actually do it.
    4. Your kids aren't laughing with you, they're laughing at you.
    3. Ban all purple dinosaurs.
    2.Never settle arguments with video game matches. You'll lose.
    1. Your kids will automatically ignore anything that begins with the words "When I was your age!" :rolleyes:
  2. Rickster

    Rickster Guest

    10. Be sure kids have their own TV and remote.
    9. Never buy a toy that makes noise.
    8. Remind child you can make another one while
    sharpening kitchen knives.
    7. When child says you’re Phat, tell ‘em they’re ugly.
    6. All purpose answer, “Get out of my face!”
    5. Threaten to put them in the trunk – then do it.
    4. Your kids “are” laughing at you - keep
    sharpening kitchen knives.
    3. Ask if purple dinosaurs are good to eat.
    2. Settle arguments by holding game-boy over
    an open flame.
    1. Kids never ignore concern they may not live to be
    your age.
  3. spydespiser

    spydespiser Registered Member

    Sep 21, 2003
    Gtr M/C UK
    Survival Guide For Human Beings

    Please Note: This tip safeguards against the need to follow all previously mentioned tips

    I.E. Safeguards you against originals, variants and polymorphs

    TIP (1) - Do Not Have Kids, Do Not Speak To Kids, And Deny All Knowledge Of Any Kids Previously Encountered On Your Path Through This World. (Unless your names SANTA) :D

    Remember: Kids are for life, Not just for christmas!


    But if this is too late, ENJOY :D

  4. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Sep 21, 2003
    SW. Oklahoma
    And do try to remember that birth control is not retroactive ;)
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