Runaway Bride

On a side note, seems this bus ticket was bought a week ago. Exit spontaneity, enter premeditation.

The DA wants to have a little chat.


snowbound

 

``Law enforcement is really making a major move to deal with people in crisis,'' Albuquerque Police Chief Ray Schulz said Sunday. ``Miss Wilbanks was definitely a person in crisis.''

But the Gwinnett County district attorney noted that vast law-enforcement resources were used to look for the missing bride.

After she disappeared last week without her keys, wallet or diamond ring, more than 100 officers led a search that involved several hundred volunteers, including many wedding guests and members of the bridal party.

Porter said he had no jurisdiction over the woman's initial 911 call in Albuquerque, in which she told an operator she was kidnapped by a man and a woman in their 40s who were driving a blue van. Through sobs, she told the dispatcher they had a small handgun.

But Porter said Wilbanks could be charged for reporting her kidnapping story over the phone to Duluth Police Chief Randy Belcher.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,1282,-4975459,00.html

 

Runaway Bride's Fiance 'Not Backing Down'

Tuesday, May 03, 2005



DULUTH, Ga. — When runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks (search) made her way home after running away just days before her wedding, John Mason was waiting to give something to his fiancée.

"The first thing I gave to her when I saw her was her diamond back. ... She put it right on her finger," Mason told FOX News' Sean Hannity in an exclusive interview that aired Monday at 9 p.m. EDT.

Mason, a 32-year-old office manager whom authorities questioned as a possible suspect in Wilbanks' disappearance, said her case of cold feet did nothing to change how he feels about her.

"'Cause we haven't walked down the aisle, just because we haven't stood in front of 500 people and said our I dos, you know, my commitment before God to her was the day I bought that ring and put it on her finger and I'm not backing down from that now," Mason told Hannity.

Mason and Wilbanks, 32, were reunited Saturday night — the night they were to be married — when she returned to Georgia (search) from New Mexico.

Wilbanks vanished Tuesday after saying she was going out jogging. She initially told authorities she had been abducted, but later admitted she took a cross-country bus trip to Las Vegas, Nev., and then went on to Albuquerque, N.M.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,155366,00.html

 

Ohh I am going to get in trouble for this one, but here it goes......


Maybe his data stick wasn't big enough anymore!!!

 

Yep! you in big time trouble, Mikel!

I heard it was about layered protection, myself.

 

New York Daily News - http://www.nydailynews.com
A bride to flee?

Dr. "Judy"

Sunday, May 1st, 2005

Everyone is wondering why runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks, boarded a bus for Las Vegas from her home in Georgia, and ended up in Albuquerque on the very day she was supposed to be walking down the aisle.

While her behavior was described by family as "uncharacteristic," as a psychologist I surmise that there must have been some clues and previous examples, perhaps from childhood, where this runner's way of handling stress was to run from it rather than face it head on. Obviously everyone around her missed any clues that this young woman was under tremendous stress to the point where she would become impulsive and unpredictable.


All brides – and grooms - undergo stress, but for some it reaches an extreme, to the point where they overreact, loose control, scream at people, cry, and wonder if they are doing the right thing by getting married to this person - or at all.


Add to that the pressure of expectations to be the happy bride, when you're not, and family pressures to the point where the bride feels the wedding isn't her affair at all anymore.


My analysis boils down to this: under the pressures and strain, the 32 year old "woman" regressed to feeling like a child. What does a child do when they are under great stress, feeling that no one understands them, being unable to speak of inner feelings for fear of disappointing parents and others? Some have been known to run away from home to some faraway place, enter a fantasy (hence, Jennifer goes to Las Vegas, the ultimate fantasyland), amd make up stories about monsters and being chased (hence, Jennifer's abduction explanation).


My theory is supported by the fact that a CNN reporter on the plane with Jennifer flying home from New Mexico, noted that she was curled up in a fetal position (what babies – and adults – do when scared), and that the officers escorting her in the New Mexico airport were whispering comforting words in her ear and handed her a teddy bear (what you do for frightened children – a transitional object signifying comfort and mother's love that we handed out to kids, as well as adults, in the aftermath of 9'11).


CNN anchor Carol Lin asked me why getting married would create such an extreme reaction - it's a happy occasion after all, not a death. Actually, getting married does bring half the amount of stress as death of a loved one. That's according to the Holmes-Rahe stress scale from psychological literature, based on the premise that significant events in life – whether happy or sad – constitute Life Change Units that can add up to health risk. Some critics challenge the scale as outdated since many factors can affect coping, but it still makes sense. Each event is assigned a number, and adding up the numbers gives an indication of the degree of stress suffered that could lead to a break-down. In the hierarchy of the scale, death of a loved one is equal to 100 points, marriage is half that, at 50 points, and marital reconciliation counts for 45 points. Add 25 points for a change in living conditions.


This bride-to-be's stress comes from many directions. Richard King, a Bronx-born husband, recognizes what he calls "the Southern Cotillion Syndrome" – the pressure to be perfect that some Southern girls he's known face.


"Family and friends often aren't sympathetic because the bride is the center of all this attention," says Arlene Cronk, MSW, founder of The Bridal Survival Club, a monthly support group for brides offered by The New York Wedding Group. "They're expecting the bride to have a great time; and they expect to have a great time too, so the bride feels like she's letting everyone down by not feeling happy all the time. They may not realize the bride is under tremendous pressure and may be afraid to tell them. She may not even realize it herself."


As a member of the advisory board of Brides magazine for years, I am certainly familiar with how joyous wedding planning can look.

"The whole story draws attention to something that we often neglect to see in today's wedding culture: Brides sometimes become a victim of their own wedding experience," says Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, author of the newly released "Wedding Goddess: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress Into Wedding Bliss."

"We are so focused on weddings as a fantasy come true that we forget that a wedding can also feel like a crisis to a bride. We don't pay enough attention to the fact that brides really do need help sorting through the stress and confusion."


The extremity of Jennifer's behavior has triggered a myriad of speculations and wonder. One woman even asked me, might being a twin (Jennifer has a twin brother) have anything to do with Jennifer's wedding panic, such that she would not want to be separated from her twin, or that her brother would have known what his twin sister was going through? Lisa and Debbie Ganz, well-known twins on the New York scene and experts on such pairings especially after interviewing many for their book, "The Book of Twins," indeed know each other uncannily, but agree that the runaway bride's extreme reaction has nothing to do with being a twin.


Searching for explanations, another woman noticed the bride-to-be looking rather thin in some photos shown on TV, wondering about a potential eating disorder; and yet another noted her wide-eyed look, with the whites of her eyes showing "like a deer in headlights," speculating about some underlying disconnection or stunned reaction.


What of the groom, left "standing at the altar"?


The poor guy was at first a suspect - one can understand why, in light of Laci Peterson's tragic disappearance, and the conviction of her husband, Scott Peterson, for her murder. But groom-to-be John Mason was ever so innocent, and so gracious on hearing of his fiancé's "cold feet." A man of faith, he offered her forgiveness - though we can all feel hurt, embarrassed and angry vicariously for him. Now, there is news that he will not only forgive her but that they will marry —like the happy ending of the Julia Roberts' movie, Runaway Bride. This real-life version released a statement on her return airplane trip home that her fianc´e "cannot wait to see her" and that the wedding is not off, but postponed. That's how big the guy's heart is.

Wish them luck. A crisis can bring a couple together, but he needs to heed how she copes with crisis and needs to be more communicative.


The family is right, they all need time to absorb and resolve this. My prediction: it will take a long time to deal with the feelings – embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger, and confusion. Isolated shrink sessions won't be enough; a live-in stay in a rehab center would help, where she can safely "escape" for a while, and concentrate on her "issues" that her family even acknowledged – as a health care worker at a hospital herself, Jennifer should be able to understand that. As her uncle said, "Jennifer had some issues the family was not aware of. We're looking forward to loving her and talking to her about these issues."


There is desperate need for couples counseling, and even some family therapy.


Are there legal consequences? On CNN's Rap Sheet, former prosecutor Wendy Murphy argued that the runaway bride should be prosecuted, since she lied to law enforcement, "like Martha Stewart," and pointed out that Jennifer "played the race card" (in concocting that her abductor was Hispanic). Noted criminal defense attorney Jane Weintraub disagreed about criminal prosecution, asking "What has she done against the law ... worried her parents sick?" but said that Jennifer could be sued civilly for that race card, and agreed with me that she is seriously in need of psychiatric help. Both lawyers ultimately agreed that the chances the case would go to criminal prosecution were "slim to none."


My biggest worry is that Jennifer's hoax about being abducted will harm the reports of other females. Tragic abductions really happen, and community members have bonded together in searches, vigils and support for the family. Hopefully this hoax won't set off "crying wolf" alarms that make people less willing to trust, and help.


I also worry about how other grooms will now distrust their brides, or be subject to jokes from their buddies.


And I worry about how Jennifer will react to having a child - another happy but stressful life event. Hopefully her behavior would alert her to teach a child how to face, rather than run, from fears.


A question I'd like to hear Jennifer answer: why end up in Albuquerque? Nice town – my radio show was on the air there and the balloon festival is notorious – but what was the significance of her going there? Was it just where a bus was going, randomly? I can understand Las Vegas – a fantasyland of unreality, a place where you can be anonymous, and a place for quickie on – and off - marriages (a là Britney Spears).


Among lessons to learn from this experience include that all emotional reactions to this story are valid. Some people will feel compassion for an unstable bride, others intense anger for being betrayed, lied to, and fooled. Many people have been hurt by this experience, including Jennifer's family, her fiancé, his family, all their friends, 600 wedding guests, and the community who searched for her - all of whom need to recover.


Anther lesson: All couples planning to marry should also accept a range of normal emotions to their impending big event, from joy to not wanting to go through with it at all. Talk to someone you trust – way before hiring the hall and sending out invitations. Brides usually lean on their best friend, or their chosen maid or matron of honor. But grooms should express honest feelings too. Get professional help if the feelings get too intense.

http://www.nydailynews.com/city_life/advice/story/305524p-261459c.html

 

Put her back in the closet my son..all the guests have gone home.

 

Wilbanks finally broke her silence today.

Get ready for it,

"I have issues" she said.

WoW, who'd of thought.


snowbound

 

Most likely she did..but none had a centerfold

 

Ron..your email box is full.

 

This kind of action is not for the faint of heart

 

I shouldn't let paint hear you say that....anyway what's a Texicana know about Pinto Ponies??...........


Cochise, (Pony Soldier)..

 

Whoooa Nellie..are you suggesting someone {no names} around this Wild Country is one bit short of a good BYTE ?

Eveyone knows you just hold on to the ranes , dig in your spurs.. then say "giddy-up".

Then when you want some real action try The Shell Game

http://www.treedragon.com/vex/microcosm.htm

 

eight bits for a good quarter horse.
eight bits to a dollar,
with blue eyes instead of brown,
you're just one quart low.


http://www.coloredhorses.com/colorkey.html

 

You mean that isn't how to ride a horse ..or two


No wonder I never get anywhere!! The things I learn at Wilders'! My life would have been a piece of cake if I had only come here before ..........well, doing anything, it looks like!

 

EVEN IF SHE RODE IN ON A HORSE??