one liners

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

 

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

 

He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

 

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

 

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."

 

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

 

Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

 

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." Dan Quayle.

 

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." Dan Quayle.

 

A hangover is the 'wrath of grapes'.

 

Am I ambivalent? . . . . Well, yes and no.

 

Do people in Australia refer to the rest of the world as "up over"?

 

Theory of relativity: The more relatives are visiting you, the slower the time passes

 

ROTF ... Well Buckroo, You've made my day two days Straight ... Simply Marvelous.

~I don't know if my co-workers will ever look at me the same again ... they must really wonder what caused my bouts of uncontrollable frenzied laughter (~solo~) , that seemingly erupting out of nowhere ... Hmmm, maybe I'll luck into a Mental Health Break~ -|Then I'd owe you another thanks|-

Thanks {The Check is in the Mail}

 

Who stopped payment on my reality check?

 

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

Honest ociffer, there's no blood in my alcohol content!

 

Does killing time damage eternity?

 

Was that the same Fortune-Teller who didn't open for business that day "Due to unforeseen circumstances"......


Cochise,

 

More to the point....

Why is Youth wasted on Youth?....


Cochise,

 

[MOVE]

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

[/MOVE]

 

Do Masochists get a fair crack of the Whip......



Cochise,

 

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

 

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

 

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law on a milk carton.