one liners

During his air test a young pilot flew through a rainbow. He passed with flying colors.

 

Somebody was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show

 

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

 

Time and tide wait for no man

 

Some words thought....don't need to be said.

 

Old burglars never die they just steal away

 

They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns

 

The headlines nobody likes are wrinkles

 

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin

 

You should always be careful what you're asking for in life... you might just get it...

 

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

 

The real problem concerning your leisure is how to keep other people from using it.

 

Jimbob1989 - Its the quality that counts, not the quantity.

 

There are 10 types of people in the country, those who understand binary and those who don't.

 

There are 2 fools in every market: one asks too little, one asks too much. (Russian proverb)

 

It's not the size that counts, it's the, umm, actually it is the size.

 

There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

 

There are three sides to any story, my side, his side and the truth.

 

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself; hire someone; or forbid your kids to do it.

 

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

 

There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about. (Ashley Brilliant)

 

There is an “exception to every rule” - and most people think they are it.

 

There is a technical meteorological term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called a "Monday."

 

The love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly.