one liners

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

 

Great minds ... discuss ideas. Average minds ... discuss events. Small minds ... discuss people.

 

Half of the world's misery comes from ignorance. The other half comes from intelligence.

 

Hard work doesn't harm anyone, but I do not want to take chances.

 

Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

 

Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!

 

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee!

 

Heaven is where the police are British, the mechanics German, the cooks are French, the lovers Italian, and all is organize by the Swiss. (Eliane Kirchner)

 

He is not afraid of work, you can tell by the way he fights it.

 

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...

 

He who fails to prepare, prepares to fail.

 

He who stands for nothing, falls for anything.

 

History is a set of lies agreed upon by the victors.

 

Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

 

Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it.

 

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

 

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

 

Humor to a man is like a feather pillow. It is filled with what is easy to get but gives great comfort.

 

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

 

http://img75.exs.cx/img75/9009/n4pclapping.gif!!Go Firecat!!http://img75.exs.cx/img75/9009/n4pclapping.gif

http://img75.exs.cx/img75/9009/n4pclapping.gif!!Go Firecat!!http://img75.exs.cx/img75/9009/n4pclapping.gif​

http://img75.exs.cx/img75/9009/n4pclapping.gif!!Go Firecat!!​

http://img75.exs.cx/img75/9009/n4pclapping.gif​

 

Thanks for that BB! Maybe I should be more serious now as my specs have arrived and I'm wearing them now...

Lets continue:

''I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don't count it.''

 

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 96% how I react to it.

 

I am sorry I offended you - I should have lied.

 

I am the world's greatest authority on my own opinion.

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.