one liners

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali

 

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.

 

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.

 

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

 

Story of my life!!!
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"Most of my cliches aren't original."
- Chuck Knox, NFL football coach

 

"This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!"
-Dan Quayle

 

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate."
- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

 

"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet"
- Al Gore

 

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Phillies manager

 

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

 

Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.
Cindy Crawford

 

If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French

 

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Linda Evangelista

 

Those who can, do, those who can't, Teach...........



Cochise,

 

I got all my brains from my father, my mother always retained hers.

Thanks
wildman

 

Why the helicopter crashed. Pilot: It got cold in the cockpit so I turned off the overhead fan.

Thanks
wildman

 

Education is what remains after we've forgotten all that we've been taught in school.
-Albert Einstein

 

Life is like a can of soda, when new it is effervesent and exciting till it gets old looses it's fizz and goes flat

 

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
(Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.)

 

A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques, vitiate the unctuous concoction.

 

If the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, are left handed people the only ones in their right mind?


Thanks
wildman

 

Tim Allen, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart:

"Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her butt to jail."

 

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