one liners

There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

 

A cow without legs is ground beef

 

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!

 

Giraffes are not able to cough or swim

 

There's one thing good about being poor - its inexpensive.

 

OK now you asked for it....

 

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

 

Every closed eye is not sleeping; and every open eye is not seeing.

 

Every man reaps what he sows, except the amateur gardener.

 

I only hope nobody ever starts a 'One Fact' Thread from the Encyclopaedia Brittanica......


Cochise,

 

Son: Dad where do I come from? Dad: (Sex education lecture given). Son: Dad that can't be right, Bill comes from Oregon, where do I come from?

Thanks
wildman

 

Hmm...Personally, I'm relieved.




(The female part of it, I mean; I was thinking of soap on the bathroom floor..-no offense!!!
I know, I'm a dog ... )

 

Hmm - leading with the chin!!

 

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button

 

A women of 35 thinks of having childern. What does a man at 35 thinks about? (dating childern)

 

What should you give a man that has everything? A women to show him how to work it ..

 

Forbidden fruit creates many jams

 

LOVE IT.

 

if you eat something and no one sees you,it has no calories

 

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

 

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look

 

There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep

 

in it to win it! winners never lose & Losers never win!!!!!

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory