one liners

The San Francisco Cable Cars are the only Mobile National monuments.

 

If you have three quarters, four dimes,and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

 

only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older

 

Some people are genetically predisposed to hate the taste of cabbage

 

graffito is the singular of grafitti

 

Jack rabbits are actually hares.

 

Fireflies aren't flies - they are beetles.

 

The journey of life is like a staircase, you eventually run out of steps

 

Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.

 

The adventure of life is like a toy top, it will sooner or later run down

 

My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people; those who do the work and those who take the credit.

He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.

 

I'm thinking of the after life, now what the hell did I come into this room after?


Advice to men: If a women ask. "do I look fat in this dress?", develop laryngitis on the spot.

Thanks
wildman

 

I'm on a seafood diet - I see food all the time!!

 

Ae woman once told me that a man is wisest when his mouth is closed

 

Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.

 

A wise man never has to prove his wisdom

 

A compasionate husband never has to tell his wife I'm sorry because he has always thought of her first

 

I live in my own little world but it's okay cuz they know me there.

 

A reed will bend in the wind, And the mighty oak will snap and break

 

The quickest way to make tossed salad is to give fresh vegetables to an 18-month-old child.