one liners

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005.

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  1. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    In every episode of Seinfeld there is a superman somewhere
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
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  2. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    The phrase"rule of thumb" is derived from old english law which ststed that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb :eek:
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
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  3. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, what is it they want to know?
     
    ronjor, Feb 4, 2005
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  4. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
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  5. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
     
    ronjor, Feb 4, 2005
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  6. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel it burns
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
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  7. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    "I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie."
     
    ronjor, Feb 4, 2005
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  8. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    this one is for bigbuck


    The worlds oldest known recipe is for beer :D
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
    #33
  9. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Thank you!

    A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #34
  10. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
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  11. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #36
  12. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    How does Teflon stick to the pan?
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #37
  13. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Cucumbers are the only food that cockroaches won't eat
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
    #38
  14. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #39
  15. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #40
  16. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #41
  17. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Why is abbreviation such a long word?
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #42
  18. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    In Cleveland Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license :D
     
    bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005
    #43
  19. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #44
  20. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #45
  21. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #46
  22. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #47
  23. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #48
  24. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #49
  25. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 4, 2005
    #50
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