one liners

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005.

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  1. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #376
  2. CartoonBoy

    CartoonBoy Registered Member

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    What distracted Little Boo Peep to make her lose her sheep [​IMG]
     
    CartoonBoy, Feb 5, 2005
    #377
  3. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #378
  4. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #379
  5. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #380
  6. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    There are two kinds of pedestrians, the quick and the dead :D
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #381
  7. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #382
  8. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #383
  9. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    Another bum asked me "Can I have $300 for a cup of coffee?" I told him "Coffee's a quarter!" The bum said "Yeah, but I want to drink it in Brazil!"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #384
  10. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    A bum asked me "Give me $10 till payday." I asked "When's payday?" He said "I don't know, you're the one who is working!"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #385
  11. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Jury: twelve people who decide who has the best attorney
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #386
  12. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #387
  13. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Cat's urine glows under black light :p
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #388
  14. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    "Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #389
  15. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    But I don't have an "any" key on my computer!
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #390
  16. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #391
  17. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That...
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #392
  18. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    No NFL team which plays it's home games in a domed stadium has ever won a super bowl
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #393
  19. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #394
  20. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #395
  21. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    The Doctor says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #396
  22. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    The first toilet seen on television was seen on "Leave IT To Beaver"
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #397
  23. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    "Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #398
  24. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    A full size Bear can run as fastas a horse :eek:
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #399
  25. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Let's not let evidence get in the way of a good misconception.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #400
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