one liners

''As I said before, I never repeat myself.''

 

Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and you're a fool for the rest of your life. (Chinese proverb)

 

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

 

A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.

 

A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.

 

A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart.

 

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

 

A statesman shears the sheep. A politician skins them.

 

A sweater is usually put on a child when the parent feels chilly.

 

At age 20 we worry about what others think of us. At 40 we don't care what they think of us. At 60 we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all. (Ann Landers)

 

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

 

Attend Church weekly, NOT weakly.

 

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.''

 

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

 

A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.

 

A wise enemy is still safer than a fool friend.

 

A wise person escapes temptation and leaves no forwarding address.

 

A 'wish' changes nothing. A 'decision' changes everything!

 

''Massivesoft Corp. just recieved a lwasuit from the Asian union for an antitrust case as they bundle Internet Exploder without offering the ability to remove it in Massivesoft World Domination 99''

 

A woman's greatest power is her vulnerability.

 

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

 

A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.

 

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Very Well Done!!
Firecat
Very Well Done!!
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never accept a drink from a urologist.

 

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive