one liners

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

 

A man spends the first half of his life learning habits that shorten the other half of his life.

 

A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!

 

An Apple a day keeps the doctor away. But an onion a day keeps everyone away

 

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications

 

An error doesn't become a mistake until you choose to ignore it.

 

An open mind does not always require an open mouth.

 

An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.

 

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.

 

Anyone can make a mountain out of a molehill by throwing on more dirt.

 

Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference, has never been in bed with a mosquito.

 

A person is getting along the road to wisdom when they begin to realize that their opinion is just another opinion.

 

Conficius say ''Die''!

 

A person of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds.

 

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

 

A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office.

 

A poor report card has one good thing in its favour: at least you know the student is not cheating.

 

Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins.

 

A real patriot is someone who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

 

A retired husband is a wife's full time job.

 

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

 

A seafood diet is the best: whenever you see food, eat it.

 

A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago.

 

A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.

 

A single reason why you can do something is worth 100 reasons why you can't.