Microsoft takes on spam zombies

In related news, Microsoft has just announced the release of a special version of Windows optimised to tackle this threat. According to Microsoft's new Chief of Security, Gunther Goebels:

"Windows XP Spam Zombie Edition is our latest initiative against malware writers trying to take over Windows machines. This edition comes with a selction of the latest trojans and rootkits preloaded and preconfigured to accept directives from Redmond only. By doing this, we ensure product lock-in and guarantee customer loyalty - the only emails they'll ever send out will be for Microsoft-endorsed products and services."

When asked whether such a measure effectively meant creating a single massive bot-net and could be in breach of Microsoft's anti-trust agreement with the US Department of Justice, Gunther responded:

"Look, do you think the needs of the DOJ should outweigh those of the market and consumer? Within the next few days, this edition of Windows will be the only one people will be able to ask for. It includes more innovation than all previous versions put together and offers better stability and security. Best of all, if anything goes wrong, the rootkits will ensure that no evidence can be collected."