A little windows/linux humor

Proven: Windows is more secure than Linux out of the box
Sunday March 21, 2004 - [ 05:10 AM GMT ]
Topics: Humor
By: David 'cdlu' Graham
After years of petty squabbling between the most innovative company in the software industry and a few pesky upstart hippie developers over which of their operating systems is more secure, the verdict is finally in. Microsoft's flagship Windows software is more secure than Linux. You can demonstrate this for yourself just as we did.



Most consumer Linux distributions come in both downloadable and boxed versions. Similarly, Windows may come either pre-installed or in a box. For purposes of comparison, we will consider only the boxed sets.

Operating system boxes, whether Linux or Windows, typically contain one or more CDs, a manual, and licensing information. Linux CDs often come in a paper envelope and can be removed and directly inserted into a computer. Windows boxes, however, come with a certificate of authenticity that Linux distributions lack. You are meant to remove the certificate of authenticity from the box and carefully scrutinise it to ensure that it is legitimate. In other words, if the features of the certificate match the description of the features of the certificate, then the software in the box is most likely genuine.

This extra security is invaluable in protecting Windows software from many of the evils that can plague a computer once it is set up.

In contrast to the flimsy paper envelope holding the Linux CD, the windows[glow=red,2,300]CD is typically in a plastic case that is secured shut with a label that warns you to be sure you are in compliance with the licensing terms found elsewhere in the box before opening it. (This security seal is designed to prevent worms from getting into the CD case and infecting your Windows installation before it is installed[/glow] and is an invaluable security asset.

Clearly Windows has the edge in physical security, but what happens after you slide each CD into the computer?

Once the Linux distribution CD has finished installing, the computer requests that a superuser and regular user account be created by the person. This obvious lack of security involved in having more than one user on a computer that can be logged in simultaneously has driven Linux into relative obscurity.

The Windows CD, at a similar point, demonstrates its superior security again. As the Windows installation process begins, it insists that a serial number be entered before continuing. Without this vital secret information, you can not continue installing. Most new Windows users are not aware that a Web search using the now-functional Linux box will turn up valid serial numbers, so this bit of security is the most powerful defence of all against unwanted back-doors in a Windows computer.

Once installed, Windows can easily be set up to connect to the Internet and be used to browse the Web, check email, and run productivity software without any flaws, and unlike the insecure hacker operating system Linux, will quickly and without complaint run any software offered it from any Web site or email attachment as requested.

We are forced to admit that, with the use of certificates, stickers, and serial numbers, Windows vastly outpaces Linux security out of the box

 

Wilders is going to turn me into a drunk! Hey, barkeep! More lubrication is needed over here!

 

Hold on! **copying-n-pasting.........done**

I'm really glad that I'm not a compulsive forwarder. Email anyone?

 

But does it get soggy in milk?

 

Only with 2% milk

 

2%? Well I guess that explains every problem I've ever had with Windows.

 

I hope that is not the reliability rating

 

That's kind of what I was thinking.

 

Pick your os.

 

I wonder if it worked.

 

Isn't that Bill Gates demonstrating the release of Windows 98 to the Press?

 

You got it that is him in the flesh.


Windows : Just another pain in the glass
Double your drive space - delete Windows!
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
Windows : Turn your pentium into an XT
Windows : The Gates of hell
Windows : The colourful clown suit for DOS
Windows 95 is out... (PC Magazine 2013)
Windows : XT emulator for an AT
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done!
OS/2 VirusScan : "Windows found, remove it? [Y,y]"
Windows 95 : New look, same multicrashing
Windows 95 isn't a virus, viruses do something...
Windows : From the people who brought you EDLIN!!!
Time on your hands? Get Windows!
"Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks great..."
Windows : A virus with mouse support
Microsoft gives you Windows, OS/2 gives you the whole house
Newsflash : Microsoft announces Visual EDLIN++ for Windows!
Sorry, this virus requires Windows 3.x
A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT?
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to start Windows
Beat me, whip me, just don't make me use Windows!
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore!
Bugs come in through open Windows
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - a turtle and it's shell
Data to Captain Picard : "No Sir, I do run Windows!"
Despite my car having Windows, it still isn't mouse driven!
Difference between a virus and Windows 3.1? A virus rarely fails
Error #152 - Windows not found : (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance
Error #005 - Windows loading : come back tomorrow
Exhibitionists love Windows
Father forgive me, I have been caught using Windows
Have you crashed your Windows today?
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better!
I'll never forget the last time I ran Windows...but I'm tying!
If Windows sucked it would be good for something!
Latest screen saver : Curtains For Windows
Windows 95 : Programmed in Logo++
New from McAfee : Winscan, removes all Windows programs
OS/2 - Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates
Out of disk space : Delete Windows? (Y)es (H)ell yes!
Relax, you're entering a Windows free zone
Some Windows were made to be broken
Windows - so intuitive you only need 5mb of help files!
Windows 3.1 - the best $89 solitaire game you can buy!
Windows 3.1 vs OS/2 - Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson
Windows 95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading
Windows Multitasking : screwing up several things at once
Windows NT : Nice Try
Windows NT : insert wallet into drive A: and press any key to empty

 

You must have tried Windows RG edition by now.

Couldn't resist to point to it (perhaps again)

 

I want my pinguin BACK ! sniffle !

 

Windows rg huh. I think I will pass on that version.

 

Ehm.. let me do a simple Windows vs. Linux:

WINDOWS LINUX
firewall 0 standard
virus resistance none standard
idiot-proof none standard
tech support you wish.. tons of it!
mauals what's that?? tons of it!
standard games 3, ancient tons of it!
office software are you kidding? K-Office
graphic software ancient GIMP
drivers good luck.. 99% built-in
fancy box oh yeah! who cares?!
cost $100 to $200 $0

Now, do your math.. good luck!

 

Windows XP: I am as fast as lightning, as solid as a rock, and as clever as a genius.
Linux: I am as slow as a tortoise, as soft as a sponge, and as stupid as a nut. OH YEAH!

say, isn't Windows 98/95 the same as linux?

 

No a little more advanced