A little windows/linux humor

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by bigc73542, Mar 21, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    Proven: Windows is more secure than Linux out of the box
    Sunday March 21, 2004 - [ 05:10 AM GMT ]
    Topics: Humor
    By: David 'cdlu' Graham
    After years of petty squabbling between the most innovative company in the software industry and a few pesky upstart hippie developers over which of their operating systems is more secure, the verdict is finally in. Microsoft's flagship Windows software is more secure than Linux. You can demonstrate this for yourself just as we did.



    Most consumer Linux distributions come in both downloadable and boxed versions. Similarly, Windows may come either pre-installed or in a box. For purposes of comparison, we will consider only the boxed sets.

    Operating system boxes, whether Linux or Windows, typically contain one or more CDs, a manual, and licensing information. Linux CDs often come in a paper envelope and can be removed and directly inserted into a computer. Windows boxes, however, come with a certificate of authenticity that Linux distributions lack. You are meant to remove the certificate of authenticity from the box and carefully scrutinise it to ensure that it is legitimate. In other words, if the features of the certificate match the description of the features of the certificate, then the software in the box is most likely genuine.

    This extra security is invaluable in protecting Windows software from many of the evils that can plague a computer once it is set up.

    In contrast to the flimsy paper envelope holding the Linux CD, the windows[glow=red,2,300]CD is typically in a plastic case that is secured shut with a label that warns you to be sure you are in compliance with the licensing terms found elsewhere in the box before opening it. (This security seal is designed to prevent worms from getting into the CD case and infecting your Windows installation before it is installed[/glow] and is an invaluable security asset.

    Clearly Windows has the edge in physical security, but what happens after you slide each CD into the computer?

    Once the Linux distribution CD has finished installing, the computer requests that a superuser and regular user account be created by the person. This obvious lack of security involved in having more than one user on a computer that can be logged in simultaneously has driven Linux into relative obscurity.

    The Windows CD, at a similar point, demonstrates its superior security again. As the Windows installation process begins, it insists that a serial number be entered before continuing. Without this vital secret information, you can not continue installing. Most new Windows users are not aware that a Web search using the now-functional Linux box will turn up valid serial numbers, so this bit of security is the most powerful defence of all against unwanted back-doors in a Windows computer.

    Once installed, Windows can easily be set up to connect to the Internet and be used to browse the Web, check email, and run productivity software without any flaws, and unlike the insecure hacker operating system Linux, will quickly and without complaint run any software offered it from any Web site or email attachment as requested.

    We are forced to admit that, with the use of certificates, stickers, and serial numbers, Windows vastly outpaces Linux security out of the box
     
  2. dangitall

    dangitall Registered Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2004
    Posts:
    430
    Location:
    New Hamster, USA
    Wilders is going to turn me into a drunk! Hey, barkeep! More lubrication is needed over here! :D
     
  3. DMo224

    DMo224 Registered Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Posts:
    81
    Location:
    Almost Heaven, USA
    Hold on! **copying-n-pasting.........done**

    I'm really glad that I'm not a compulsive forwarder. Email anyone? :D
     
  4. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2002
    Posts:
    8,523
    But does it get soggy in milk? :D
     
  5. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    Only with 2% milk :D
     
  6. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2002
    Posts:
    8,523
    2%? Well I guess that explains every problem I've ever had with Windows. :D
     
  7. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    I hope that is not the reliability rating :eek:
     
  8. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2002
    Posts:
    8,523
    That's kind of what I was thinking. :p
     
  9. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    Pick your os.
     

    Attached Files:

  10. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2002
    Posts:
    8,523
    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

  11. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    I wonder if it worked.
     

    Attached Files:

  12. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2002
    Posts:
    8,523
    Isn't that Bill Gates demonstrating the release of Windows 98 to the Press? :D
     
  13. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    You got it that is him in the flesh.


    Windows : Just another pain in the glass
    Double your drive space - delete Windows!
    Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
    Windows : Turn your pentium into an XT
    Windows : The Gates of hell
    Windows : The colourful clown suit for DOS
    Windows 95 is out... (PC Magazine 2013)
    Windows : XT emulator for an AT
    Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done!
    OS/2 VirusScan : "Windows found, remove it? [Y,y]"
    Windows 95 : New look, same multicrashing
    Windows 95 isn't a virus, viruses do something...
    Windows : From the people who brought you EDLIN!!!
    Time on your hands? Get Windows!
    "Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks great..."
    Windows : A virus with mouse support
    Microsoft gives you Windows, OS/2 gives you the whole house
    Newsflash : Microsoft announces Visual EDLIN++ for Windows!
    Sorry, this virus requires Windows 3.x
    A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
    Are you using Windows or is that just an XT?
    Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to start Windows
    Beat me, whip me, just don't make me use Windows!
    Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore!
    Bugs come in through open Windows
    DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - a turtle and it's shell
    Data to Captain Picard : "No Sir, I do run Windows!"
    Despite my car having Windows, it still isn't mouse driven!
    Difference between a virus and Windows 3.1? A virus rarely fails
    Error #152 - Windows not found : (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance
    Error #005 - Windows loading : come back tomorrow
    Exhibitionists love Windows
    Father forgive me, I have been caught using Windows
    Have you crashed your Windows today?
    I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better!
    I'll never forget the last time I ran Windows...but I'm tying!
    If Windows sucked it would be good for something!
    Latest screen saver : Curtains For Windows
    Windows 95 : Programmed in Logo++
    New from McAfee : Winscan, removes all Windows programs
    OS/2 - Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates
    Out of disk space : Delete Windows? (Y)es (H)ell yes!
    Relax, you're entering a Windows free zone
    Some Windows were made to be broken
    Windows - so intuitive you only need 5mb of help files!
    Windows 3.1 - the best $89 solitaire game you can buy!
    Windows 3.1 vs OS/2 - Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson
    Windows 95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading
    Windows Multitasking : screwing up several things at once
    Windows NT : Nice Try
    Windows NT : insert wallet into drive A: and press any key to empty
     
  14. meneer

    meneer Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2002
    Posts:
    1,132
    Location:
    The Netherlands
    You must have tried Windows RG edition by now.

    Couldn't resist to point to it (perhaps again) :D
     
  15. FluxGFX

    FluxGFX Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2003
    Posts:
    667
    Location:
    Ottawa/Canada
    I want my pinguin BACK ! sniffle ! :doubt:
     
  16. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    Windows rg huh. I think I will pass on that version. :D ;)
     
  17. zebra90210

    zebra90210 Guest

    Ehm.. let me do a simple Windows vs. Linux:

    WINDOWS LINUX
    firewall 0 standard
    virus resistance none standard
    idiot-proof none standard
    tech support you wish.. tons of it!
    mauals what's that?? tons of it!
    standard games 3, ancient tons of it!
    office software are you kidding? K-Office
    graphic software ancient GIMP
    drivers good luck.. 99% built-in
    fancy box oh yeah! who cares?!
    cost $100 to $200 $0

    Now, do your math.. good luck!
     
  18. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    Posts:
    3,647
    Windows XP: I am as fast as lightning, as solid as a rock, and as clever as a genius.
    Linux: I am as slow as a tortoise, as soft as a sponge, and as stupid as a nut. :D OH YEAH!

    say, isn't Windows 98/95 the same as linux? :D
     
  19. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    23,873
    Location:
    SW. Oklahoma
    No a little more advanced ;) :D
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.