one liners

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a superman somewhere

 

The phrase"rule of thumb" is derived from old english law which ststed that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb

 

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds

 

The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel it burns

 

this one is for bigbuck


The worlds oldest known recipe is for beer

 

Thank you!

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

How does Teflon stick to the pan?

 

Cucumbers are the only food that cockroaches won't eat

 

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

 

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

 

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

 

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

 

In Cleveland Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license

 

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

 

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

 

My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.

 

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

 

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.