Top 10 Survivor Tips for Dad. 10. Never,ever lose control of the remote! 9. Never buy a toy that must be assembled by adults. 8. Stop after the first child. 7. When your kid says that you are "PHAT", it might actually be a compliment. 6. All purpose answer: "Go ask your Mother". 5. Threaten to turn the car around, and then actually do it. 4. Your kids aren't laughing with you, they're laughing at you. 3. Ban all purple dinosaurs. 2.Never settle arguments with video game matches. You'll lose. 1. Your kids will automatically ignore anything that begins with the words "When I was your age!"
10. Be sure kids have their own TV and remote. 9. Never buy a toy that makes noise. 8. Remind child you can make another one while sharpening kitchen knives. 7. When child says you’re Phat, tell ‘em they’re ugly. 6. All purpose answer, “Get out of my face!” 5. Threaten to put them in the trunk – then do it. 4. Your kids “are” laughing at you - keep sharpening kitchen knives. 3. Ask if purple dinosaurs are good to eat. 2. Settle arguments by holding game-boy over an open flame. 1. Kids never ignore concern they may not live to be your age.
Survival Guide For Human Beings Please Note: This tip safeguards against the need to follow all previously mentioned tips I.E. Safeguards you against originals, variants and polymorphs TIP (1) - Do Not Have Kids, Do Not Speak To Kids, And Deny All Knowledge Of Any Kids Previously Encountered On Your Path Through This World. (Unless your names SANTA) Remember: Kids are for life, Not just for christmas! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!! But if this is too late, ENJOY SpyD
