Lurking somewhere in cyberspace ..... FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard. TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a 'virus', but instead refers to itself as an 'electronic micro organism'. AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in London, but your data is in Singapore. STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before. HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for £500. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.