Tips for Christmas

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by Peaches4U, Dec 9, 2004.

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  1. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
    knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
    immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
    scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
    can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that
    it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
    into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for
    me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
    Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
    potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
    whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
    with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
    eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
    people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
    You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
    time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
    carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
    Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
    them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
    behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if
    you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
    three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
    celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
    standards.

    10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
    get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread all tips;
    start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
    with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved
    body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the
    other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO
    what a ride!"


    :D

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  2. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

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  3. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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  4. Sugabella

    Sugabella Registered Member

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    I think you can eat all you want and not gain a pound Right and the Holiday
    Months are from Oct to Feb so no pounds Gained LOL .Happy eatting ! Thanks peaches for all the great tips :D
     
  5. Jimbob1989

    Jimbob1989 Registered Member

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    The only advise I can give you is this.

    You can tell when your drunk when the curtains start talking... :p

    Jimbob
     
  6. Primrose

    Primrose Registered Member

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    Don't Wait up for Santa. :eek:
     

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  7. Jimbob1989

    Jimbob1989 Registered Member

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    I remember that year well.

    Jimbob
     
  8. gerardwil

    gerardwil Registered Member

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    Any ideas for a great christmas dinner?

    I am not thinking of:

    The traditional christmas dinner
    Barbeque
    Fondue
    Buffet

    :D

    Any other suggestions are very welcome!

    Gerard
     
  9. Jimbob1989

    Jimbob1989 Registered Member

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    Do you like duck? (No Jokes)

    Jimbob
     
  10. gerardwil

    gerardwil Registered Member

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    Yep I do, though I only know Peking Duck
     
  11. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    That's called "Leading with your chin"....
     
  12. Jimbob1989

    Jimbob1989 Registered Member

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    Oh, just remembered the time i had some duck eggs, were horrible.

    Jimbob
     
  13. BeetleBoss

    BeetleBoss She who posts lots of <I>Smileys</I>

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    LOL!!!! Peaches, that was great!!!! I surely will drink all the egg-nog I can. I'm off to the store now,
    ~Hey kids, hands off!!! That's Mommy's!!!!~
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Jimbob, oh poor Jimbob, whyo_O Whyo_O whyo_O You know Bigbuck is hereo_O
    I remember a quote I heard.....

    "Better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.....shhhhhhhhh"
     
  14. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Yup....never too far away......lurking.....
    ....just waiting to pounce!......
     
  15. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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  16. BeetleBoss

    BeetleBoss She who posts lots of <I>Smileys</I>

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    We're somewhere in Kansas, Toto!!!!
  17. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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    Good one ....... :D
     
  18. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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    Got this one this morning from a friend in Texas ...

    Sing this to the tune of "winter Wonderland" - it's funny!
    Computer Wonderland Sing-along

    Another "ping",

    Are you listenin'?

    The puter screen,

    Is a glistenin'.

    With icons so bright,

    They light up the night,

    Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!


    Gone away,

    Are the hall talks.

    Here to stay,

    Is the IN-BOX.

    Flagged "urgent, please read!",

    And "answer with speed!".

    Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!


    In the morning e-mails start to add up.

    No lunch today cause messages abound.

    Just click away and hope the server stays up.

    You can't do your job if it goes down.


    10 P.M.,

    You're not tired.

    The caffeine,

    Has got you wired.

    The day's not complete,

    Till the last delete,

    Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!


    In the morning e-mails start to add up,

    No lunch today cause messages abound.

    Just click away and hope the server stays up.

    You can't do your job if it goes down.


    Until you,

    Are retired,

    The same old grind,

    It is required.

    You'll face unafraid,

    That message parade.

    Welcome to the e-mail wonderland



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  19. Rita

    Rita Infrequent Poster

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  20. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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