Technical Support? NOT!!!

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by lljwagg, May 27, 2005.

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  1. lljwagg

    lljwagg Registered Member

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    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks,

    A Troubled User.

    ______________________________________

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support

    http://bestsmileys.com/computer1/18.gif
     
  2. wildman

    wildman Registered Member

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    :D Getting rid of wife 1.0 is a very expensive, complicated an a intensive proposition. This will require the services of a very expensive technician, an even then you may have left over problems which will require more servicing. Beware going back to girlfriend 7.0, for this has been know to mutate into wife 1.0 also. The best solution thus far found has been to provide wife 1.0 with whatever it wants an hope it let's you use the other programs. Over an extended period of time wife 1.0 may slow down an become less restrictive, but this is a case by case situation as not all wife 1.0's are the same. I have been using wife 1.0 for almost 39 years now.

    Thanks
    Wildman
    o_O :doubt: :rolleyes: :p
     
  3. Infinity

    Infinity Registered Member

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    ohh my god :D LMAO
     
  4. Triple Helix

    Triple Helix Webroot Product Advisor

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    Excellent :eek: ROFLMAO


    Cheers,;)
     
  5. Marja

    Marja Honestly, I'm not a bot!!

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    I will accept everything you said but the word 'used'! LOL! You must treat your Wife 1.0 like the lady you love,.......or I am sure she wouldn't have 'slowed' down! LOL!

    You are funny, Wildman and you lljwag!

    You are NOW officially a Ten Forward(er), after having at least one of your threads closed down! It's a thin line, sometimes, but you are smart, I know you will see it when it comes up! :p

    Wildman could surely give you some advice.......:D

    Don't let it get you down, ......it's all part of the Wilders' learning process!

    Cheers!

    MARJA:cool:

    HI ANDY AND DAG!! ;)


     
  6. Infinity

    Infinity Registered Member

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    You better believe it lljwagg :) Cause if she's on the role...
     

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  7. Infinity

    Infinity Registered Member

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    she can be very sweet to by the way :D
     
  8. Marja

    Marja Honestly, I'm not a bot!!

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    LOL! HEY YOU HAVE MY CAT'S TREE! LOL!
     
  9. wildman

    wildman Registered Member

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    :D One of the associate programs of wife 1.0 has inserted it's input, an that input was not compatible with the advice give in the previous instruction manual on this subject. It is now necessary to add a short addendum to the user guide.

    As you may have noticed wife 1.0 an associated programs can be very unpredictable, an as such must be treated with the utmost delicacy, it is only in this manner that one can anticipate the most favorable results form these programs. Other programs can be handled somewhat roughly, over a period of time and with practice one will learn what those programs are.

    Thanks
    Wildman
    :rolleyes: :p :D ;) :eek:
     
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