Microsoft's expected daily routine

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by TrBot, Mar 16, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. TrBot

    TrBot Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Posts:
    139
    This is just mucking around, although it is so true. This is what MS think our day revoloves around..

    Day 1:

    Install Windows Xp
    Install Service Pack 2
    Install Virus protection (your computer may be at risk
    antivirus software may not be installed, LMFAO)
    Install update for Windows Xp
    Install 32 critical updates for Internet Explorer
    Install 32 critical updates for Outlook Express
    Restart

    Day 2:
    Install MS Antispy
    Update Virus protection
    Update MS Antispy
    Install Malicious removal tool
    Install 8 critical updates for Windows Xp
    Check your serial key for validation
    Install 32 critical updates for Internet Explorer
    Install 32 critical updates for Outlook Express
    Restart

    Day 3:
    Install 8 critical updates for Windows Xp
    Install 32 critical updates for Internet Explorer
    Install 32 critical updates for Outlook Express
    Install MSN beta 7.0
    Install 32 critical updates for MSN Beta
    Restart

    Day 4:
    Install 8 critical updates for Windows Xp
    Install 32 critical updates for Internet Explorer
    Install 32 critical updates for Outlook Express
    Install 32 critical updates for MSN Beta
    Restart

    ......and so on.
     
  2. Marja

    Marja Honestly, I'm not a bot!!

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2004
    Posts:
    4,553
    Location:
    In the Vast Fields of My Mind
    LOL! Know what ya mean,TrBot!
     
  3. Firecat

    Firecat Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2005
    Posts:
    7,927
    Location:
    The land of no identity :D
    I'll try to revise that a bit.

    Day 1:

    Install Windows XP.
    Call MS for Activation.
    Install Windows XP SP2
    Install your software
    Install AntiVirus, Firewall, set Automatic Update
    Get Internet working
    Install 10 critical updates for Windows XP SP2
    Install 20 non-critical updates (but still 'important') for Windows XP SP2
    Install 32 critical updates for Internet Explorer
    Install 16 non-critical (but still 'important') updates for the same
    Repeat last two steps for Outlook Express.
    Reboot.

    Day 2:

    Go to Internet
    Update Virus protection
    Update MS AntiSpyware
    Install Worm Removal tool
    Check CDKey for validation
    Install 10 more critical updates for Internet Explorer and 4 non-critical updates
    repeat above steps for Outlook Express.
    Reboot.

    Day 3:

    MSN Beta 7.0 install
    Install 10 critical and 4 non-critical updates for Windows XP SP2
    Install 10 critical and 4 non-critical updates for Internet Explorer
    Repeat above step for Outlook Express.
    Install 'important' security patch for Notepad and WordPad
    Restart

    Day 4:
    Install 10 critical updates for Windows XP SP2
    Install 7 non-critical updates for XP SP2
    Install updated malware removal tool
    Update virus protection and AntiSpyware
    Install 8 critical updates for IE and 4 non-critical updates
    Repeat above step for Outlook Express.
    Restart

    .....and so on.

    Just my bit.

    Regards,
    Firecat
     
  4. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2002
    Posts:
    8,523
    You forgot just one tiny thing.

    "Watch Windows crash after every step." :rolleyes:
     
  5. gerardwil

    gerardwil Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2004
    Posts:
    4,748
    Location:
    The Netherlands
    I am a happy camper my daily routine starts some hours later :D
     
  6. Capp

    Capp Registered Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2004
    Posts:
    2,125
    Location:
    United States
    And...if you happen to be running an older version of windows (9.x)

    Install updates,
    Restart,
    "Windows Has restarted, Please Restart for changes to take affect"
     
  7. TrBot

    TrBot Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Posts:
    139
    And the way they go about it.it makes you feel as if you are an idiot..

    "Your computer may be at risk.aantivirus may not be installed"

    "Would you like to restart now?"

    and such

    oh, and each day you have MSN Beta installed, you must download a new patch to fix an error in the last patch to fix an error in the last patch to fix an error in the last patch to fix an error in the last patch to fix an error in the last patch ..........
     
  8. Firecat

    Firecat Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2005
    Posts:
    7,927
    Location:
    The land of no identity :D
    LOL...we may even have things like this:

    <Vulnerability is exposed, patch is released 6 months later>

    "This patch is assured of quality and reliabilty as it has been in testing for six months now. Please note that Windows XP SP2 is required in order to install this patch"

    and even this:

    <During Windows Update>:

    "Important critical updates found. Do you want to update now?"

    After downloading updates:

    "Your version of Windows 9x/ME is no longer supported by Microsoft. Please upgrade to Windows XP in order to continue."

    LOL...

    Firecat
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2005
  9. TrBot

    TrBot Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Posts:
    139
    Oh and THEN they mention the patch does not work with windows XP, lol.
     
  10. no13

    no13 Retired Major Resident Nutcase

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Posts:
    1,327
    Location:
    Wouldn't YOU like to know?
    Day 6.
    Reformat HDD under NTFS becuase FAT32 is no longer the "geeky-cool" thing to do, MS recommends NTFS.
    Reinstall windows.
    Reset your calendar to Day 1.
     
  11. slammer_JvA

    slammer_JvA Registered Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2004
    Posts:
    1,588
    Location:
    Below sea-level. Safe and sound behind our dikes:
    But hey, on the positive, an old bonus :rolleyes: still hasn't been solved:

    There's still plenty of time to make yourself a nice cup of coffee (between each of the necessary steps!) :p ;)

    Because let's face it: what's a daily routine without any coffee? :D :cool:

    [MOVE]
    Always look at the bright side of life, people! :D
    [/MOVE]
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Mar 17, 2005
  12. TrBot

    TrBot Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Posts:
    139
    Yah, but then whilst you making the coffe you come back to the pc, which has decided to crash coincidentally whilst you were making coffee ;)
     
  13. puddler

    puddler Registered Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Posts:
    4
    Location:
    Michigan
    And the crop's al a creme' do not even provide the bonifide xp software to reinstall. One must perform a complete reform to factory settings. This will occur, that is, if the hard drive is able to read data from the new "blank media restore" disks!
     
  14. TrBot

    TrBot Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Posts:
    139
    ROFL *literally*

    it is like an endles loop..
     
  15. no13

    no13 Retired Major Resident Nutcase

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Posts:
    1,327
    Location:
    Wouldn't YOU like to know?
    you mean Java, of course!??
     
  16. TrBot

    TrBot Registered Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Posts:
    139
    Then you go to download Java, and it says "to download java, you need the following:" and it lists all these new plugins.....
     
  17. hollywoodpc

    hollywoodpc Registered Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2005
    Posts:
    1,325
    You guys are killin me . ROFLMAO
     
  18. Firecat

    Firecat Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2005
    Posts:
    7,927
    Location:
    The land of no identity :D
    And the plugins tell you to download patches before installing the plugins. The patches say 'Java required'......Life goes on
     
  19. no13

    no13 Retired Major Resident Nutcase

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Posts:
    1,327
    Location:
    Wouldn't YOU like to know?
    And then Java hangs your FireFox browser...
    so that you are now at the mercy of a certain William Henry Gates III, and his not so bright programming team.
    ---
    PS: Microsoft programmers are some of the highest paid in the business, and they're THE best talent [at least in MS based platforms they are]
     
  20. Firecat

    Firecat Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2005
    Posts:
    7,927
    Location:
    The land of no identity :D
    LOL :D
     
  21. wildman

    wildman Registered Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2004
    Posts:
    2,179
    Location:
    Home on the range.
    :eek: Ain't computers just grand? I spend eight hours a day on this olé thing, about half an hour a day I actually get to use it for fun things.

    Thanks
    Wildman
    :doubt: :blink:
     
  22. Firecat

    Firecat Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2005
    Posts:
    7,927
    Location:
    The land of no identity :D
    ROFL LOL :D:D:D
     
  23. no13

    no13 Retired Major Resident Nutcase

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Posts:
    1,327
    Location:
    Wouldn't YOU like to know?
    HALF an hour?
    whoa. huge.
    Apparently, you don't have any gamez installed. :D
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.