Improve Your Computer Vocabulary

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by ronjor, Oct 22, 2004.

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  1. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    Improve Your Computer Vocabulary

    Analog: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts

    Backup: Opposite of go forward

    Batch Processing: Making a lot of cookies at once

    Binary: Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes

    Bit: 12 1/2 cents

    Branch: If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club)

    Buffer: Programmer who works in the nude

    Bug: 1. Programmer's term for a feature 2. An elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect. Note: the activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed

    Character density: The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space

    Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors

    Computer Club: Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages

    Coding: An addictive drug

    Compile: A heap of decomposing vegetable matter

    Compiler: Noah Webster (1758-1843)

    Console: What one does to a depressed computer

    Cursor: An expert in 4-letter words

    Dump: A system programmer's work area

    Feature: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative

    Hardware: The parts of a computer which can be kicked

    Keyboard: An instrument used for entering errors into a system

    Language: A system of organizing and defining error messages

    Loop: See loop

    Machine-independent Program: A program which will not run on any machine

    Microcomputer: One millionth of a computer

    Null String: The result of a 4-hour database search

    On-line: The idea that a human should always be accessible

    Password: The nonsense word taped to your terminal

    Performance: A statement of the speed at which a computer system works. Or rather, might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working about a month ago

    Printer: Johann Gutenberg (1400-146:cool:

    Quality Control: Ensuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand and add to the cost of its manufacture or design

    Strategy: A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime after those creating it have left the organization

    User: Someone requiring drug rehabilitation
     
    ronjor, Oct 22, 2004
    #1
  2. hayc59

    hayc59 Guest

    heheheh:eek:
     
    hayc59, Oct 22, 2004
    #2
  3. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors


    pretty funny :D
     
    bigc73542, Oct 22, 2004
    #3
  4. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

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    Spyware: Software designed to destroy your computer.
     
    nadirah, Oct 22, 2004
    #4
  5. GlobalForce

    GlobalForce Regular Poster

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    Crash Dump! : ....... :D
     
    GlobalForce, Oct 23, 2004
    #5
  6. Rita

    Rita Infrequent Poster

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    Rita, Oct 23, 2004
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  7. Marja

    Marja Honestly, I'm not a bot!!

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    After reading all that I need some coding!!
    After reading all that I need some coding!!
    (Loop)y
     
    Marja, Oct 23, 2004
    #7
  8. slammer_JvA

    slammer_JvA Registered Member

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    LOL:D
     
    slammer_JvA, Oct 23, 2004
    #8
  9. gerardwil

    gerardwil Registered Member

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    Backslash: when using to much can cause RSI or tennis elbow
     
    gerardwil, Oct 23, 2004
    #9
  10. no13

    no13 Retired Major Resident Nutcase

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    Wouldn't YOU like to know?
    Byte: source of bad vampire jokes from bored programmers
    download: what loads the computer
    benchmark: lifting heavy beige boxes as a test of an office worker's strength
     
    no13, Oct 23, 2004
    #10
  11. Gullible Jones

    Gullible Jones Guest

    "loop: see loop"? LOL!
     
    Gullible Jones, Oct 23, 2004
    #11
  12. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

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    Windows XP: It's all about XPriencing computer software.
    Windows 2000: It's all about year 2000 and beyond.
    Windows 98: It's all about hammering and crashing your computer!
     
    nadirah, Oct 23, 2004
    #12
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