How do you know if an app wants server rights?

Using Win F/W a pop-up will usually ask if you want to unblock this program and give it server rights

How does Ghostwall do this? More importantly does it do this?

 

Cam05,
Ghostwall is more of a traditional firewall because it operates using simple rules, what you are describing is the functionality of an application oriented firewall that provides a richer set of features (and generally has a purchase price)

Ghostwall is a good firewall if you wish to control network access to the computer as a whole and do it with low overheads and without introducing much additional latency to your network traffic

It sounds as if you are looking for an application firewall or possibly a mix of both. There are plenty of "best firewall" threads here at Wilders that could help provide comparisons of the many different solutions you could try.

Another alternative that might be of interest is to use Ghostwall (if you are comfortable setting up a rules based firewall) and use AppDefend to control outbound connectivity at an application level. AppDefend doesn't currently have fine grained control over application network activity but it has a "network access" option that can be ask/allow/block. As I understand it more fine grained control will be added as the product is developed.

AppDefend is currently being developed and is still in an alpha/beta release cycle so it isn't appropriate for everyone to try (but it is certainly worth keeping in mind as one of the possible solutions)