Happily Addicted to the Web Sung, if possible, to the tune of "Winter Wonderland" Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy -- although My boss let me go -- Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There's beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web. Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the big dance?" With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man; I just discovered letterman-dot-com!" I don't phone, don't send faxes, Don't go out, don't pay taxes, Who cares if someday They drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web! Credit to: David Pogue. He published that gem in MacWorld (December 1996).