Desperately seeking technical support!

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by still_longhorn, Oct 23, 2004.

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  1. still_longhorn

    still_longhorn Registered Member

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    I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can't find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK.

    Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with Golfware, often trying to abort my Golf program with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0.

    After months of conflicts, I consulted a friend who has experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and eventually it would require a Token Ring upgrade to run properly. He was right. As soon as I purged my cache, Girlfriend 2.0 uninstalled itself.

    Shortly after that, I installed a Girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus. After a hard drive clean up and thorough virus scan I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0. This time using a SCSI probe and virus protection. It worked OK for a while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 wasn't completely uninstalled!

    I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has an unadvertised feature that automatically senses the presence of Girlfriend 1.0 and communicates with it in some way, resulting in the immediate removal of both versions!

    The version I have now works pretty well, but, like all versions, there are still some problems. The Girlfriend package is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less reprogram. And I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally 'object-oriented.'

    A year ago, a friend upgraded his version to GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate-and-Stay resident version. He discovered GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiance9e 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, you have to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a 'huge resource hog.' It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife is because it came bundled with FreeSex 1.0. Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSex (particularly the new Plug and Play items he wanted to try). On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. And, although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0, which has an automatic popup feature he can't turn off.

    I told him to install Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard that if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife, that Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before uninstalling itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway, due to insufficient resources. If anybody out there is able to offer technical advice...
     
  2. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    I LMAO everytime I read this, it is funny. :D ;)
     
  3. still_longhorn

    still_longhorn Registered Member

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    Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male




    10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

    9. A better model is always just around the corner.

    8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

    7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

    6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

    5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

    4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

    3. The lights are on but nobody's home.

    2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

    1. Size does matter.
     
  4. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

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    hahahahahhhha :D :D :D :D :D :D
     
  5. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Five Reasons Computers are Female
    Posted on Wednesday, March 17 @ 00:05:00 CST by JokeCrazy

    Computers/Support 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

    2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

    3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

    4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

    5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it
     
  6. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Dogs Don't Use Computers...

    Top 15 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers

    15. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
    14. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
    13. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
    12. Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.
    11. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
    10. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
    9. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing Pethouse instead of working.
    8. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
    7. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
    6. Still trying to come up with an emoticon that signifies tail wagging.
    5. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
    4. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, *cats*, on the other hand...
    3. SIT and STAY were hard enough; GREP and AWK are out of the question!
    2. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver
    1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.
    (Too Damn Hard To Type with paws!)
    oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOooOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo
     
  7. Notok

    Notok Registered Member

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    Well you can always try the skinning program Meterosexual 1.0. I've heard the latest build runs at a low level, increasing performance and compatibility with most programs. I'm sure it would make more than an aesthetic change to Girlfriend, no matter which version. You might have to watch out for stability issues, though.

    I think you may have also forgotten to run the emulation software Wine 4.0 for critical operations. You have to watch out, though, because I hear there's a badly hacked version some people have ended up with called Whine (you know how those hackers like to put H's in front of the first letter for everything..)

    (damn, I get a phone call before finishing the last sentance and there's already 5 posts!)
     
  8. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Dictionary for women
    Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

    Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

    Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

    Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

    Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

    Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

    Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

    Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

    Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

    Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

    Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

    Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

    Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

    Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

    Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

    Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

    Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

    Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card
     
  9. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

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    hahahhahahah LOL LOL :D :D :D
     
  10. Rita

    Rita Infrequent Poster

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  11. Rita

    Rita Infrequent Poster

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  12. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

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    At my computer
  13. nadirah

    nadirah Registered Member

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    Wow, that's great!
    :cool:
    I would use this remote control to turn my father's snoring OFF! :D
    That would be fun!
     
  14. Mr.Blaze

    Mr.Blaze The Newbie Welcome Wagon

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    :'( it not funny its all true lol :D hellllllllll yeah it funny lollllllllllllllllll
     
  15. Pilli

    Pilli Registered Member

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    This must have been written for you Blazie :)

    The Amazing Human Mind


    This is interesting and strange how our mind/eyes work.

    I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg

    The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

    The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

    Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

    Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!


    Cheers. Pilli
     
  16. Blackspear

    Blackspear Global Moderator

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    LMAO, nice find Pilli

    Cheers :D
     
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