one liners

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by bigc73542, Feb 4, 2005.

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  1. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    A man goes to a psychiatrist "Nobody listen to me!" The doctor says "Next!"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #401
  2. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    90% of the dust in a house is composed of human skin :blink:
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #402
  3. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #403
  4. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #404
  5. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    The buck doesn't even slow down here!
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #405
  6. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    It is physically impossible to get sick when you are laughing
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #406
  7. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #407
  8. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #408
  9. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    Nutmeg is extremelly poisonous if injected intravenously
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #409
  10. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #410
  11. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    oak Trees do not have acorn until they are at least fifty years old.
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #411
  12. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #412
  13. bigc73542

    bigc73542 Retired Moderator

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    There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eifel tower
     
    bigc73542, Feb 5, 2005
    #413
  14. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #414
  15. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #415
  16. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #416
  17. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #417
  18. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food..... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #418
  19. CartoonBoy

    CartoonBoy Registered Member

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    Why does the Easter Bunny bring eggs....shouldn't it be carrots [​IMG]
     
    CartoonBoy, Feb 5, 2005
    #419
  20. Rita

    Rita Infrequent Poster

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    Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
     
    Rita, Feb 5, 2005
    #420
  21. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife every finds out, she'll kill me!
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #421
  22. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #422
  23. CartoonBoy

    CartoonBoy Registered Member

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    If money isn't everything....WHY DO WE NEED IT FOR EVERYTHING [​IMG]
     
    CartoonBoy, Feb 5, 2005
    #423
  24. bigbuck

    bigbuck Registered Member

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    People who live beyond their means should act their wage.
     
    bigbuck, Feb 5, 2005
    #424
  25. ronjor

    ronjor Global Moderator

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    If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
     
    ronjor, Feb 5, 2005
    #425
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