one liners

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!' -- untll you can find a rock
Detox's Alma Mater??

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

 

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

 

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

WOW! That was less than 16 seconds??

 

The best facelift is a smile.

 

I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

 

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

 

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid

 

Before giving a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.

-Anonymous

 

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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 

Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.

 

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck

(Second Shift!! Have Fun!!)

 

7/5 of the population doesn't understand fractions

 

Rice paper contains not a grain of rice.

 

Ten gallon hats only hold 6 pints.

 

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe

 

Hocked on Fonics wurked fer me. Kant u tel?

 

Smoking kills, and if your dead you've lost a very important part of your life

-Brooke Shields - in an anti-smoking campaign

 

They are 3 types of people--people who know how to count and-- people who dont know how to count.

 

BB sounds like you're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too close to that Bundy Plant, Either that or a southerley is blowing your way!!

 

Why do we call it a push-bike ? Shouldn't it be a ride-bike

 

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Quick, what's the number for 911?!

 

An apple a day keeps the doctor away....what does the apple eat ?