If Women Ruled the World...

HAHA. That would keep them away from the TV!!

 

say what - it's a ringer!

 

12 Things Women Should Know

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints don’t work. Strong hints don’t work. Really obvious hints don’t work. Just say it!

3. Peeing standing up is far more difficult, we are bound to miss sometimes.

4. Most men own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we would be any good at choosing which pair out of 30, would look good with your dress?

5. If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is not worth the hassle.

6. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

7. It is in neither, your best interest, or ours, to fill in a women’s magazine survey together.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

9. If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and 1 of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way.

10. All men see in 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, NOT a colour.

11. If it itches, it will be scratched. If there is a build up of pressure, gases will be released…and yes, it is amusing.

12. Beer is as exciting for us, as handbags are for you.

 

Yet another version...

 

That's why we have electricity to work the light switches.

 

LMAO

 

Rules to live by ladies.



snowbound

 

what! the shock of bright lights can blurr the vision.

 

Peaches4U - You have to understand where their coming from. Most of them need lights to find the "handle".



Edit: Just wanted to clarify, in case some of you got the wrong idea...

 

That's what "night lights" were invented for, cost 20c per year to run 24hrs a day

 

It happens everyday when the Earth rotates around towards the sun. Do you all want to turn that off too?

 

CLASSES FOR MEN AT OUR LOCAL ADULT LEARNING CENTER


NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8 PARTICIPANTS


TOPIC 1 - How to fill up the ice cube trays.
(STEP BY STEP, WITH SLIDE PRESENTATION.)

TOPIC 2 - THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: Do they grow on the holders?
(ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.)

TOPIC 3 - Is it possible to pee using the technique of lifting the seat and avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub?
(GROUP PRACTICE.)

TOPIC 4 - Fundamental differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
(PICTURES AND EXPLANATORY GRAPHICS.)

TOPIC 5 - THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink?
(EXAMPLES ON VIDEO.)

TOPIC 6 - LOSS OF IDENTITY: Losing the remote to your significant other.
(HELPLINE SUPPORT AND SUPPORT GROUPS.)

TOPIC 7 - LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS - starting with looking in the right plave instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
(OPEN FORUM.)

TOPIC 8 - HEALTH WATCH: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
(GRAPHICS AND AUDIO TAPE.)

TOPIC 9 - REAL MEN ask for directions when lost.

TOPIC 10 - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
(DRIVING SIMULATION.)

TOPIC 11 - LEARNING TO LIVE: Basic differences between mother and wife,
(ONLINE CLASS AND ROLE PLAYING.)

TOPIC 12 - HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
(RELAXATION EXERCISES, MEDITATION AND BREATHING TECHNIQUES)

TOPIC 13 - HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: Remembering birthday's,
Anniversaries, other important dates and calling when u are going to be late..
(CEREBRAL SHOCK THERAPY SESSIONS AND FULL LOBOTOMIES OFFERED.)


UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE, DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED TO THE SURVIVORS.

 

Survivors? What survivors, whom could pass such a course

 

well let's put it to u in computer language.

 

Sheesh, this forum is very quickly going down the toilet!

Acadia

 

. hehaheha!

 

I'm watching you people

 

oh, oh ! we had best behave. I'm innocent.

 

Well, at least this is better reading than the newspaper.

 

i don't like apples cuz they give me indigestion - i luv peaches. this thread gave many laughs - now i shall give my wounded hands a rest. good-nite all.

 

Guys 1, sounds like a victory to me