How many hackers does it take?(joke)

Q: How many hackers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?








A: Zero. Nobody knew they were there.

 

Did you hear.....about the frustrate hacker who after weeks of trying to hack into a system,.... went to the person's house.......when the person answered the door...the frustrated hacker demanded the person's credit card number.....an the frighten person replied: ,,I would give you the number but its stored on the computer which is broken because someone was trying to hack it.

 

None. That's a hardware issue and not the hackers problem.

 

Hacker to service tech:

Say man, my keyboard wont work..I checked the cable its ok.

Service Tech;

Try cleaning your keyboard


Hacker to service tech.

Say man, I did clean it...left it soaking in the bathtub over night

 

Hacker to service tech:

say man, I want to download the entire internet......am I going to need more disc space?

 

can't the "person" just show the hacker his credit card ?

 

LOL, way to logical, simple, and straight forward.

 

Hacker Barbie

(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.

This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series. The Barbie clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with lenses thick enough to set ants on fire. (Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional.)

The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 16 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "What's your Internet address?", "I like TCP/IP!", "Bummer! Your kernel must have gotten trashed," "Can't you grep that file?", and "DEC's Alpha AXP is awesome!"

"We are very excited about this product," said Ken Olsen, Marketing Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." (A year ago, Mattel released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with a condescending companion Ken.) The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent management consultant who frequently asks Barbie for help.

The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie dolls. Naomi Falodji says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally terminate the notion that womyn are inherently inferior when it comes to mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses." Mattel made no comment.

Parents, however, are worried that they will fall behind the children technologically when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of rural Oxford, Mississippi, "and now she pays my credit card bill online. Got no idea how she does it, but she surely does it. I just don't wanna be looked upon as some dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an introduction to expository writing.