No offense?! Yes, really!!

I once made an off-the-cuff, intended to be entirely joshing remark in a forum with more of an international audience than I knew (which remark Americans and I suspect Western Europeans all understood to be joking and not borne of seriousness) that so upset another user who was from Iran that he was afraid to come and use the forum at all for a while.

This young guy had been posting about hiding operating systems underneath others on the same PC, and could it be done, and he kept saying a "client" had to know... so he was getting ribbed about it , who is this "client" anyway? WHY do you need to know this?

And the kid wouldn't say, so I chime in to say, "Yeah, we all know about the client anyway- that bomb making guy who must secrete his activity ..." And THAT ribbing WAS NOT FUNNY AT ALL to this kid over there- in fact he was convinced at that moment that we all thought he was involved with terrorism, etc. Several PMS from many of us and lots of apologies later, he came back- but I saw clearly how a "joke" to some of us, a flippant goof-on-it comment to me was taken quite seriously and offensively by him.

I strive to be more sensitive now. Thanks LWM for the words of wisdom.

 

Well, I was very rudely offended by two forums: The Emulator Zone one and the Pokémon Gastly and Gengar forums. I had accidentally "grave digged" (see my post on "grave digging" if you don't understand what that means) on The Emulator Zone website, and I felt shocked by the response:

This post is more than three months old. Don't revive old ****.

I thought that that was quite intrusive and downright rude, especially from a moderator of the site . Next thing, he had finally closed the thread; something which they could have done ages ago.

I also didn't like to be corrected so much that it gave me a headache, as in the Gengar and Gastly forum. Don't get me wrong... I am one for correcting people , but only in special circumstances, not on every post!

Davo.

 

Hi Guys and Gals,

A wise man once told me;

Not everyone will see who you are.
Not everyone will understand the ways of your heart.
Not everyone will believe in the things that you do.
For not everyone dreams the same way that you do.

I can see why you have posted this thread LowWaterMark. But I have the ability to pull myself (mentally) out of position and see it from a third persons point of view. But not all have that ability. That is why most of my posting have some humour, some indepth thought behind the whole understanding (sometimes), helpfullness (sometimes, more on the actual threads that peope are searching for help), but most of all, it is my experience and only my opinion.

Besides all this... may all please just keep this in thought in future. I find this is a natural human habit to do but they themselves do not see this. I also sometimes forget this myself but......

TRY not to "generalized".

This is the biggest offence of all.
For example;
It's like meeting one Australia person and he turns out to be a total idiot. And you think all Australians are idiots. (just so you all know.... i'm an Australian, so I can only insult myself and no other australian )

Everyone has the right to their opinion, but just remember what the wise man told me
and
an action will always cause a re-action​

PS: LowWaterMark..... Luv your tag picture... their cute and funny. (honestly, no offense.... hehehehe)

Kindest Regards

 

I was told don't Poo where you sleep.What does that mean? To me it means not to piss the people off around you or you will have no friends and die alone and old and have lots of cats . and people call you crazy cat lady ok ok we aren't talking about me LOL Love every one here
Chat with ya later

 

Boy, oh boy, you sure have a point. I was banned from the SWI chatroom because people took what I said the wrong way. Let me tell you, it isn't easy talking online- your words can easily be twisted around.

 

I like to 'chew the gristle' and I'm told I have a 'twisted' sense of humour, so basically I'm unshockable.
I'm not going to bore you all with the 'it's all part of life's rich tapestry type horse dollop'....but I LOVE TO LAUGH, there IS humour in EVERYTHING (no exclusions!)
Controversial subjects? - Lop off their heads and bring them to me on a plate!
Insults? - Bath them, hang them upside down and chop off the slack!
Biscuit anyone?
http://www.spacespider.net/emo/char069.gif

 

I look for a man how could laugh at and with other's . I think that it should be about fun and don't sweat the small stuff.

 

I want to talk about a four letter word: friend.

I was talking to a person last week and they told me they have alot of friends. And the first thing I said to myself was " You have got no idea at all "

Why did I say that? I said it because I know I have no friends.

I have associates. Associates who I socialise with when I feel like it. If I don't, I spend time by myself. I don't believe we live in a society that allows for people to be totally honest and upfront, about everything, and that is what a friend does. A friend is somebody you know, and to be honest, I think we don't even know ourselves, so how can we claim to know somebody else ?

I'm not saying I don't accept nor am I saying I live a hermit existance, my life is full of stimulation. I'm simply saying my choice is to remain friendless.

 

@The Realist.
Too late pal. You came here!

 

I second this

 

For Real, Realist, you are already in trouble if you don't want friends.

Wise words, Valkryi001 and Infinity, friends abound at Wilders' forum.

 

More than half of communication is non-verbal: the tone, speed and inflection in your voice, your facial expressions, your gestures, your body movements, so you lose those cues when all you have are letters on a screen.

"non-verbal communication encompasses 93% of our overall message"
http://entrepreneurs.about.com/cs/marketing/a/uc062003.htm

Posting online certainly has improved my communication skills. I have observed misunderstandings many times. From the sidelines you can see both points of view, but the people involved may never see the other side of the issue.

The Realist: I resonate with your definition of friends.

 

I've been constantly misunderstood in these years of life that I have lived, and it still happens quite a bit (real life or otherwise). To be honest, I've grown used to it, and if enough people were to misunderstand me, I'd just sit down and accept the fact that I'm an idiot.

Since childhood, I tried my best to make English as my first language. I think in English, and write in English, and prefer to speak in English. But still, there have been many occasions where people couldn't tell a joke from a serious fact in certain text I write (some posts at Wilders', for example).

Can someone advise me here?

Thanks a lot.

 

" Lurkerella " you have not understood my words. I have never expressed I don't want friends, that is why I said what I said.....and by the alias you have masked yourself with, it further confirms what I originally said.

 

Infinity & pamelajoy... nice to see some honest understanding. It's unfortunate we live in a deceptive society, but if more of us thought a little different I'm sure we could further our communications no matter of appearance or language.

 

Firecat, life is a reflection.

 

One thing that I discovered over time is that every person seems to have their own belief system and generally that belief system is super-imposed over whatever is being collected from their senses.

That is why 10 people can read, see, hear the "same" exact thing and percieve ten different unique experiences. Some will be insulted....some will laugh, some will cry, some will be neutral, some will be a cheerleader and some will throw rotten tomatoes.

Once I realized that, i stopped taking things as seriously....most especially on internet computer forums in which I don't personally know any of the people. I really don't go through as much emotional turmoil over people's opinions as I used to.

Now, in real life....I get more emotional turmoil from my girlfriend who is Indonesian. I think some of it is there is a big difference in the culture in the USA and what is found in Indonesia....although I am getting used to a little bit at life through the eyes of a Indonesian.

I like looking out of the eyes of other people a lot. I like sampling viewpoints just as much as I like sampling software.....and just as I believe no security software guarantees 100% protection, I never buy into any particular idea 100%. I always leave room for error.

If someone wants to say I am wrong then I agree because just about all points of view carry fallacies as well as truths. That is why I don't get too upset about as many things anymore....because whatever is said is both true and false and everything in between.

Generally the reason why most people get upset about things is they are unable to come to terms with viewing the fallacies in whatever position they are taking. I don't get upset because someone can come along and say everything I say is false and I will agree....LOL

I started getting a lot of relativistic attitudes by reading too much Robert Anton Wilson. http://www.rawilson.com/main.shtml


" I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.

I strongly suspect that a world "external to," or at least independent of, my senses exists in some sense.

I also suspect that this world shows signs of intelligent design, and I suspect that such intelligence acts via feedback from all parts to all parts and without centralized sovereignity, like Internet; and that it does not function hierarchically, in the style an Oriental despotism, an American corporation or Christian theology..

I somewhat suspect that Theism and Atheism both fail to account for such decentralized intelligencce, rich in circular-causal feedback.

I more-than-half suspect that all "good" writing, or all prose and poetry that one wants to read more than once, proceeds from a kind of "alteration in consciousness," i.e. a kind of controlled schizophrenia. [Don't become alarmed -- I think good acting comes from the same place.]

I sometimes suspect that what Blake called Poetic Imagination expresses this exact thought in the language of his age, and that visits by"angels" and "gods" states it an even more archaic argot.

These suspicions have grown over 72 years, but as a rather slow and stupid fellow I do not have the chutzpah to proclaim any of them as certitudes. Give me another 72 years and maybe I'll arrive at firmer conclusions. "


Quote from Robert Anton Wilson

 

Some don't understand the distinction between friends and aquaintances.

 

I can count them on my toes.....GranDad always said if you had 5 personal friends....that's a lot! ??The rest are all acquaintances.....

 

Here are a few simple rules I think we can all agree on:

-Don't personally insult anyone. This would include remarks about a persons' race, country, language, intelligence, political or religious views.
-Don't go around looking to be offended.
-Treat others as you wish to be treated.
-If you don't have something good to say, don't say anything.
-Show some patience with others.
-Don't bash products. (ie. Microsoft, Norton) Complain about a problem, yes. Bash, no. Don't use the word "sucks" unless you are talking about vampires.
-If you do make a mistake and are rude, stand up and take responsabilty. Delete the offending remark and apologize.
-Don't assume anything (or you will make an ASS of U and ME).

Usually an insult will begin with "I don't mean to offend BUT..." or IMHO which is NEVER humble.

I left a couple of forums before coming to Wilders. I left the others mainly because of very poor moderators. Wilders has excellent moderators. This is the most professional forum I have joined. This is a great place to help and be helped by others.

 

Yo Ailric,

The 'TOS' here pretty much covers all of the above. 'IMHO' the one I would take issue w/is 'intelligence' (in 10F anyways). 10F would bog down completely w/all the kissy/nicey threads and MI5, CIA, FBI, and RCMP would continue to operate w/impunity.

I gotta run....incoming cruise missile!!

In hiding, big ed

 

jeeeesh! somebody tell me where the yhey the bunker is...posthaste

 

I'd also like to add we cannot hear the tone of voice being used as if it was spoken, so it's hardly surprising so many misunderstandings occur online. Like you say, if we give a little time to think about what we say before we say it (or type it, in this case) things will be easier all round.

 

You are absolutely correct.....except that when I watch a Premiership Match the tone of voice doesn't help much during the match or the interviews after. Living in the Colonies does not make us privy to the Queens English. Sometimes Close Captioning helps but only if I have my English to English translator handy. I watched an interview w/David Beckham and I swear he had a mouthfull of oatmeal!

Befuddled in the Berkshires, big ed