Wal-Mart Security Market

Discussion in 'other security issues & news' started by controler, Jul 8, 2002.

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  1. controler

    controler Guest

    The American retail multinational Wal-Mart has began testing the sale of computer and network security products and services. In Houston, Texas, the company has leased land next to its super-centre to security product vendor, SNP Group Inc. The new security super-store will stock security hardware, software and have professional Walmart trained security professionals offering deep discount prices.
    Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in the world, with 1.2 million workers. Company spokesperson, Smy Leeface, said " all employees will undergo a rigorous three day course of security training at Wal-Mart SecU, where they will be taught the difference between a router and a grinder. Graduates of Wal-Mart SecU will be able to sell a firewall while ringing up a sale for a pair of pants or a carton of Depends ".

    Security professionals and their certification boards have warned that the disruption caused by the arrival of Wal-Mart in the security industry and an increased focus on price competition could mean lower quality network security and services and thus a loss for customers. At the same time, many jobs would be lost, particularly in smaller security firms which could not continue to be competitive.
     
  2. Detox

    Detox Retired Moderator

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    Hmm, is 3 days really enough?? I think they might end up like the guy at wal mart who told my wife that all the digital cameras by any manufacturer would be just the same... (yes she believed it) and I made her take back the "Veo"
     
  3. UNICRON

    UNICRON Technical Expert

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    Three days? Why with three days a solid schoolin', you'd have time for a pick-nick on day three.

    LOL. "Wal-mart, home of the experts"

    But for us who don't need hand holding, but want cheap, they may be hard to beat price wise. I suspect there selection will be all the bottom of the barrel stuff. we'll see.
     
  4. Detox

    Detox Retired Moderator

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    yeah but like they say if it's all cheap stuff, the good stuff that costs a bit more might have a real tough time staying alive cause all the "unenlightened" just want cheap. I guess I oughta shut up since my system is all freeware. FFS.
     
  5. controler

    controler Guest

    They were selling PC's for a while and got out didn't they?
    I guess if they end up selling good quality stuff anda cut-rate price, more power to us right?
    We will have to see.
     
  6. Checkout

    Checkout Security Rhinoceros

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    Translation: Help! The public may wake up to the fact we talk obfuscating technobabble in order to rip them off with enormous fees! Kill Wal Mart! Protect our Mercedes and swimming pools!
     
  7. spy1

    spy1 Registered Member

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    Pete strides blithely through the Store, dressed in his WALLYWORLD security outfit (visual: Keystone Cops uniform from one of the old black and white flicks - I kinda walk like that, anyway...) bopping the occasional shop-lifter (plus a few who look as if they might be considering shoplifting - just to keep them straight!).

    Long, manly strides soon bring him to the SECURITYSHACK (and man, did they have a pissinmatch with RadioShack over THAT one!), where his WALLYID passes him through the metal detectors with no problem - although he does recall the unfortunate incident when the WALLYSCANNER accidentally torched WALLYID, causing him a serious burn over his right...).

    Taking his place behind the counter, he overhears the current customer asking "Do I really need a firewall?" and, being the neighborly person he is, goes ahead and presses the foot-pedal for the cashier, opening the trapdoor in front of the register, causing that particular moron customer to disappear with a lingering scream...
     
  8. Checkout

    Checkout Security Rhinoceros

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    I believe you can cure me of Net-O-Phobia, Mr SalesPerson! I walk like a novice, talk like a novice, and quack like a novice, so please talk down to me as if I'm a duck.

    "Yes, Sir. I believe you need a solution which will not overtax my ten minutes' technical training - a firewall, perhaps."

    I do? Can I buy one here?

    "Only the mortar, Sir. The bricks can be purchased separately from a Builders' Merchant - but we do supply the diagrams and the trowel."

    Will it protect me from the rigours of the Internet when I've built it?

    "Sir, contruct a six-foot firewall around your house and you need never fear the Internet, or stray rhinoceroses, ever again."
     
  9. controler

    controler Guest

    I love it I love it I love it :D
    You guys are too much ;)
     
  10. FanJ

    FanJ Guest

    :D :D :D
    I almost fell off my chair laughing :D
     
  11. snapdragin

    snapdragin Administrator

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    ROTFL!!!!

    i'm trying to picture Spy1 taking "long manly strides" in a (black & white) WALLYWORLD security outfit!! :D :D
     
  12. spy1

    spy1 Registered Member

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    <g> It can be done! (As long as it's not the uniform made by WALLYWORLD'S "MOST-FAVORED SLAVE NATION OF THE WEEK"! Long, manly strides will get you some quick 'Southern air-conditioning' in a hurry, in that case!). Pete
     
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