~A Few Funnies~

Discussion in 'ten-forward' started by hayc59, Oct 15, 2004.

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  1. hayc59

    hayc59 Guest

    Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the wilderness.After they got
    their tent all set up, they both fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto
    wakes The Lone Ranger and says,"Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you see?"
    The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
    "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
    The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says,
    "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
    Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi, you a
    dumb ass. Someone has stolen tent."
    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

    The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "Do you talk?" he asks.

    "Yep," the Lab replies.

    "So, what's your story?"

    The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no-one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.”

    “But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.”

    “I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

    "Ten dollars," the guy says,

    "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

    "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
  2. beetlejuice

    beetlejuice Registered Member

    Oct 12, 2002
  3. Cochise

    Cochise A missed friend

    Jan 26, 2003
    North Thoresby Lincs Good Olde England
    HAH!......Brilliant...Love it.... :D :D :D

    Cochise, :cool:
  4. Rita

    Rita Infrequent Poster

    Jun 28, 2004
    wilds of wv
    lol-very very funny-really enjoyed these jokes
  5. Peaches4U

    Peaches4U Registered Member

    Nov 22, 2002
    At my computer
    Good ones. :D :D :D
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