one liners

One day, your life will flash in front of your eyes...Make it worth watching.

 

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

 

One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about what ever it was you forgot.

 

One half of the world will never understand the other half, and it doesn't matter which half you're in.

 

One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

 

One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket.

 

Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, a large fries, and a diet coke.

 

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

 

Optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

 

Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than look back.

 

Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth - a sense of humor.

 

Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: too soon or too late. (Sam Levenson)

 

Overheard during a particular long sermon, "If we give him the money now, Mommy, will he let us go?"

 

We're on the O's tonight folks!

 

Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. (Antisthenes)

 

People are funny. They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.

 

People are never too busy to tell you all that they have to do.

 

People in power need the power of prayer.

 

People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do.

 

People never say, "It's only a game", when they're winning.

 

People pick bad things from bad company very quickly but good company takes a good time to gift good things to them.

 

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.

 

People who think they're out of this world always make you wish they were.

 

People who value their privileges above their principles, soon lose both.