Now, Let's talk some Golf!

[Dazed_and_Confused]

On those TX courses, it's always a good thing to drag hme back to the clubhouose, or else...

[ronjor]

What a way to go!!

[Dazed_and_Confused]

Originally Posted by ronjor

What a way to go!!

Yeah - in this case see Law #11 above...

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by Dazed_and_Confused

On those TX courses, it's always a good thing to drag hme back to the clubhouose, or else...

From the USGA Rules of Golf.... this is the closest thing I could find that applies to your sun-bleached, rather boney golfer:

6-8. Discontinuance of Play; Resumption of Play
a. When Permitted

The player must not discontinue play unless:
(i) the Committee has suspended play;
(ii) he believes there is danger from lightning;
(iii) he is seeking a decision from the Committee on a doubtful or disputed point (see Rules 2-5 and 34-3); or
(iv) there is some other good reason such as sudden illness.

[ronjor]

Originally Posted by ssgtmax

From the USGA Rules of Golf.... this is the closest thing I could find that applies to your sun-bleached, rather boney golfer:

6-8. Discontinuance of Play; Resumption of Play
a. When Permitted

The player must not discontinue play unless:
(i) the Committee has suspended play;
(ii) he believes there is danger from lightning;
(iii) he is seeking a decision from the Committee on a doubtful or disputed point (see Rules 2-5 and 34-3); or
(iv) there is some other good reason such as sudden illness.

What's the rule on watering greens during play??

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by ronjor

What's the rule on watering greens during play??

Well, I didn't find a direct answer, but I'm sure the USGA Rules Committee invoked Rule 25-1 (Abnormal Ground Condition) when they allowed the watering of the dying green in that recent U.S. Open.

Here's a ruling that's probably of interest down in Texas, where spittin' is a way of life....

Q. What is the status of saliva?
A. In equity (Rule 1-4), saliva may be treated as either an abnormal ground condition (Rule 25-1) or a loose impediment (Rule 23-1), at the option of the player.

[ronjor]

Originally Posted by ssgtmax

Well, I didn't find a direct answer, but I'm sure the USGA Rules Committee invoked Rule 25-1 (Abnormal Ground Condition) when they allowed the watering of the dying green in that recent U.S. Open.

Here's a ruling that's probably of interest down in Texas, where spittin' is a way of life....

Q. What is the status of saliva?
A. In equity (Rule 1-4), saliva may be treated as either an abnormal ground condition (Rule 25-1) or a loose impediment (Rule 23-1), at the option of the player.

Does that cover plugs of tobacco too?? While we are at it, do cow chips fall under these rules??

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by ronjor

Does that cover plugs of tobacco too?? While we are at it, do cow chips fall under these rules??

1) Yup.

2) I think Daisey posted a sign covering that contingency.

[ronjor]

Originally Posted by ssgtmax

1) Yup.

2) I think Daisey posted a sign covering that contingency.

Memory! Just one the things failing these days!!

[Dazed_and_Confused]

Originally Posted by ronjor

Memory! Just one the things failing these days!!

Plugs of Tobacco! Are we talking Baseball again? Is there anything Texans do these days without chewing that stuff? Oh, on second thought, don't answer that...

[ronjor]

Originally Posted by Dazed_and_Confused

Plugs of Tobacco! Are we talking Baseball again? Is there anything Texans do these days without chewing that stuff? Oh, on second thought, don't answer that...

Miss Daisey, may I suggest a vacation? It will get rid of those rough edges.

[Dazed_and_Confused]

Originally Posted by ronjor

Miss Daisey, may I suggest a vacation? It will get rid of those rough edges.

Amen to that! May I just add that dealing with kids can be more frustrating than golf. I do need a vacation! Whatever happened to that Wilder's BBQ?

[Dazed_and_Confused]

Originally Posted by ssgtmax

From the USGA Rules of Golf.... this is the closest thing I could find that applies to your sun-bleached, rather boney golfer.

SSG - That was hilarious ( I must say that today I know exactly how that fella feels)! And the funny part is just what Ron alluded to - the USGA probably would penalize this guy for delay of play after watering the green to facilitate his putting experience.

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by Dazed_and_Confused

Plugs of Tobacco! Are we talking Baseball again?

Nope...now way Jose...not ME. I only have to get spanked once!

[Dazed_and_Confused]

Sorry. I just hate baseball. But I would never go to those extremes...

[ronjor]

The Natural Laws of Golf

THE NATURAL LAWS OF GOLF

1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

4. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes - - or at a minimum of not at all.

6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

9. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.

12. If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

13. Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.

14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

16. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.

17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

19. It's not a gimme if you're still away.

20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

21. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.

22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch
90% of the time.

23. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

25. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 300mph.

26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

27. Hazards attract; fairways repel.

28. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.

29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.

31. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

32. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by ronjor

THE NATURAL LAWS OF GOLF

33. A tree is 85% air....and your ball will NEVER go through it.

[ssgtmax]

Max & his 3 playing partners were playing there regular Saturday round of golf. They had reached the 7th green, which was adjacent to a fairly busy street.

As Max addressed his ball & readied himself to putt, a rather long line of cars with headlights on came driving by. The lead car was obviously a hearse. Immediately Max stepped back from his ball & doffed his ballcap.

Ron said, "What the hell's goin' on, Max?"

Max replied, "We were married 35 years....it's the least I could do."

[Dazed_and_Confused]

So you had her buried on the golf course so you could visit her on Sundays withouht having to miss out on a round?

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by Dazed_and_Confused

So you had her buried on the golf course so you could visit her on Sundays withouht having to miss out on a round?

It was the sensitive, proper thing to do.

BTW, we could have a heckuva finish in the Brit Open tomorrow.

[Dazed_and_Confused]

Yes. Tiger is stalking...

[ronjor]

Looks like a Texas resident and an Oklahoma grad won the British Open.

Congratulations!

http://golfnews.thecabin.net/bios/bio1528.shtml

[bigc73542]

Texas and oklahoma in the right mix work real well

[ssgtmax]

Originally Posted by ronjor

Looks like a Texas resident and an Oklahoma grad won the British Open.

We'll forgive him the 2 qualifiers & a say, "Oooooo-rahhhhh!" for the win. He really held up well under the pressure of some great players chompin' @ his heels.

[ronjor]

I have to say, he earned his stripes over time. Know what I mean Sarge?