Australian Rules Football or U.S. Footy and the Wizard Home Loans Cup

[Icewind]

Hey, I thought that by bringing up an Australian concept that people might better understand the rules of the Wizard Cup which starts on Friday the 18th of February with Collingwood V Richmond at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground in Victoria). Here's how some of the new rules work:

NEW RULES

1. New nine-pointer rule; anyone who kicks a ball beyond 50m through the main goal posts receives nine points instead of six.

2. Any ball which hits any of the goal posts and bounces back in the surface area without going out-of-bounds is called "play-on".

3. Umpires must clear at least 5m parallel to the area which the ball cleared the boundary line before throwing the football in from the boundary line.

4. There is to be a maximum of four players on the interchange at the one time.

5. The football is always thrown up from the centre circle instead of bounced.

6. The bouncing of the football when a tackle occurs will still apply, except if the surface around the ruck players and the umpire, in procession of bouncing the football is wet or muddy.

7. Only two trainers on the ground from any side (total maximum of 4) are allowed on the ground in one quarter.

Now, here are some general rules of the game:

GENERAL RULES

1. Blood Rule: This is more of a precaution than a rule. The player is sent off the ground immediately due to bleeding from any part of the body, and must be interchanged or sent to the doctor's via the club doctor. Close observation is soon followed to ensure player safety. The reason is for blood contamination and the spreading of disease and/or viruses and bacteria from that person.

2. Set-up Goal: This rule is based on a mark between 45 degrees and 90 degrees on an angle between the goals and where the player is standing (often close to the boundary line). The player can opt to "play-on", but if he is tackled down appropriately, he will be dealed with the "holding-the-ball" rule. Otherwise, the player must clear 5m and swing his whole body towards the direction of the kick in order to attempt to score a goal.

3: Holding-The-Ball: The rule applies to tackling. It is when a good tackle is applied by one player in order to "trap" another by holding his arms together and then twisting him to the ground in a tackle motivation. The umpire then gestures "holding-the-ball" by swinging both arms around the side and up into an arch formation, similar to a bird spreading its wings.

4. Push in the back: When a player "shoves" somebody in the back. A free kick is awarded to the opposing player who was pushed in the back.

5. High Tackle (more commonly called "too high" by spectators): A tackle which is above shoulder height is deemed illegal, and the ball must be handed to the opposing player immediately afterwards.

6. 50m Penalty: A player has made a serious infringement of umpires rules, and does not follow clear instructions. The opposing team and player is awarded a 50m Penalty; this is when players come towards their own goal by 50m and the opposing player is awarded a free-kick.

7. Mark: When a player catches the ball after it has been kicked by another player.

8. Handball: An action where one player pumps his fist through the ball from an open palm.

9. Free-kick: A free kick is awarded to an opposing player by an infringement of a player, serious or otherwise. The opposing player then has the option to "play-on" or kick to a teammate.

10. Play-on: To continue playing with the ball.

11. Dribble: To bounce the ball, either by pushing the ball and letting resistance force it back up, or by grabbing the ball and pressing it against the ground.

12. Out-of-bounds: The ball is deemed out-of-bounds when the football clears the white boundary line, excepting the goal posts. If the ball hits the behind post on the full, then it is called "out-of-bounds-on-the-full".

13. Out-of-bounds-on-the-full: When the football clears the boundary line by a player who has handballed or kicked it on the full (without bouncing first).

14. Behind: When the ball hits the two main goal posts or goes through the right hand side of the main goal posts (or left). The opposition's full back then takes the ball and clears it from the goal square. He must be careful not to clear any part of that line, otherwise, the full forward of the opposing team is awarded a free kick. The player who has kicked the behind earns his team one point.

15. Goal: This is awarded to a player/team when the ball successfully clears between the two main tall white goal posts, either on the full or by bouncing.

16. Rushed Behind: When a player "rushes" the ball accidentally through the opposition's goal or behind line. An "own goal" is also called this. In the Wizard Home Loans Cup, if the ball clears a player's team goals by this action, the score is three points to that team. Otherwise, in the league football, it is just one point.

Players are also sent to the club tribunal and are reported if they commit a very serious infringement which endangers the safety of another player.

By the way, the new rules only apply to the Wizard Home Loans Cup and not any of the actual league games.

Thanks for reading "whew" and I hope this helps people to better understand the game of Australian Rules Football.

Cheers,
Davo.

[bigbuck]

Hey Davo,
What about the tight shorts rule? Don't they have to be so tight as to cut off the circulation? Bit of a league/union fan myself Anyway, each to their own!
Brad.

[Jimbob1989]

Primary School Football, THE RULES OF THE GAME !

PRIMARY SCHOOL FOOTBALL - THE RULES OF THE GAME

Matches shall be played over three unequal periods: two playtimes and lunchtime.

Each of these periods shall begin shortly after the ringing of a bell, and although a bell is also rung towards the end of these periods, play may continue for up to ten minutes afterwards, depending on the nihilism or "bottle" of the participants with regard to corporal punishment meted out to latecomers back to the classroom.

In practice there is a sliding scale of nihilism, from those who hasten to stand in line as soon as the bell rings, known as "poofs", through those who will hang on until the time they estimate it takes the teachers to down the last of their G & T's and journey from the staff room, known as "chancers", and finally to those who will hang on until a teacher actually has to physically retrieve them, known as "nutters". This sliding scale is intended to radically alter the logistics of a match in progress, often having dramatic effects on the scoreline as the number of remaining participants drops. It is important, therefore, in picking the sides, to achieve a fair balance of poofs, chancers and nutters in order that the scoreline achieved over a sustained period of play - lunchtime, for instance - is not totally nullified by a five-minute post-bell onslaught of five nutters against one.
The scoreline to be carried over from the previous period of the match is in the trust of the last nutters to leave the field of play, and may be the matter of some debate. This must be resolved in one of the approved manners (see Adjudication).

Parameters
The object is to force the ball between two large, unkempt piles of jackets, in lieu of goalposts. These piles may grow or shrink throughout the match, depending on the number of participants and the prevailing weather. As the number of players increases, so shall the piles.
Each jacket added to the pile by a new addition to a side should be placed on the inside, nearest the goalkeeper, thus reducing the target area. It is also important that the sleeve of one of the jackets should jut out across the goalmouth, as it will often be claimed that the ball went "over the post" and it can henceforth be asserted that the outstretched sleeve denotes the innermost part of the pile and thus the inside of the post. The on-going reduction of the size of the goal is the responsibility of any respectable defence and should be undertaken conscientiously with resourcefulness and imagination.

In the absence of a crossbar, the upper limit of the target area is observed as being slightly above head height, although when the height at which a ball passed between the jackets is in dispute, judgement shall lie with an arbitrary adjudicator from one of the sides. He is known as the "best fighter"; his decision is final and may be enforced with physical violence if anyone wants to stretch a point.

In games on large open spaces, the length of the pitch is obviously denoted by the jacket piles, but the width is a variable. In the absence of roads, water hazards etc, the width is determined by how far out the attacking winger has to meander before the pursuing defender gets fed up and lets him head back towards where the rest of the players are waiting, often as far as quarter of a mile away. It is often observed that the playing area is "not a full-size pitch". This can be invoked verbally to justify placing a wall of players eighteen inches from the ball at direct free kicks. It is the formal response to "yards", which the kick-taker will incant meaninglessly as he places the ball.

Tactics
Playground football tactics are best explained in terms of team formation. Whereas senior sides tend to choose - according to circumstance - from among a number of standard options (eg 4-4-2, 4-3-3, 5-3-2), the playground side is usually more rigid in sticking to the all-purpose 1-1-17 formation. This formation is a sturdy basis for the unique style of play, ball-flow and territorial give-and-take that makes the playground game such a renowned and strategically engrossing spectacle. Just as the 5-3-2 formation is sometimes referred to in practice as "Cattenaccio", the 1-1-17 formation gives rise to a style of play that is best described as "Nomadic". All but perhaps four of the participants (see also Offside) migrate en masse from one area of the pitch to another, following the ball, and it is tactically vital that every last one of them remains within a ten-yard radius of it at all times.

Stoppages
Much stoppage time in the senior game is down to injured players requiring treatment on the field of play. The playground game flows freer having adopted the refereeing philosophy of "no Post-Mortem, no free-kick", and play will continue around and even on top of a participant who has fallen in the course of his endeavours. However, the playground game is nonetheless subject to other interruptions, and some examples are listed below.
1. Ball on school roof or over school wall. The retrieval time itself is negligible in these cases. The stoppage is most prolonged by the argument to decide which player must risk life, limb or four of the belt to scale the drainpipe or negotiate the barbed wire in order to return the ball to play. Disputes usually arise between the player who actually struck the ball and any others he claims it may have struck before disappearing into forbidden territory. In the case of the Best Fighter having been adjudged responsible for such an incident, a volunteer is often required to go in his stead or the game may be abandoned, as the Best Fighter is entitled to observe that A: "you can't make me"; or B: "It's not my ball anyway".
2. Bigger boys steal ball. A highly irritating interruption, the length of which is determined by the players' experience in dealing with this sort of thing. The intruders will seldom actually steal the ball, but will improvise their own kickabout amongst themselves, occasionally inviting the younger players to attempt to tackle them. Standing around looking bored and unimpressed usually results in a quick restart. Shows of frustration and engaging in attempts to win back the ball can prolong the stoppage indefinitely. Informing the intruders that one of the players' older brother is "Mad Paul Murphy" or some other noted local pugilist can also ensure minimum delay.
3. Menopausal old bag confiscates ball. More of a threat in the street or local green kickabout than within the school walls. Sad, blue-rinsed, ill-tempered, Tory-voting cat-owner transfers her anger about the array of failures that has been her life to nine-year-olds who have committed the heinous crime of letting their ball cross her privet Line of Death. Interruption (loss of ball) is predicted to last "until you learn how to play with it properly", but instruction on how to achieve this without actually having the bloody thing is not usually forwarded. Tact is required in these circumstances, even when the return of the ball seems highly unlikely, as further irritation of woman may result in the more serious stoppage: Menopausal old bag calls police.

Celebration
Goal-scorers are entitled to a maximum run of thirty yards with their hands in the air, making crowd noises and saluting imaginary packed terraces. Congratulation by teammates is in the measure appropriate to the importance of the goal in view of the current scoreline (for instance, making it 34-12 does not entitle the player to drop to his knees and make the sign of the cross), and the extent of the scorer's contribution.
A fabulous solo dismantling of the defence or 25-yard (actually eight yards, but calculated as relative distance because "it's not a full-size pitch" rocket shot will elicit applause and back-pats from the entire team and the more magnanimous of the opponents. However, a tap-in in the midst of a chaotic scramble will be heralded with the epithet "poaching b tard" from the opposing defence amidst mild acknowledgment from teammates. Applying an unnecessary final touch when a ball is already rolling into the goal will elicit a burst nose from the original striker.
Kneeling down to head the ball over the line when defence and keeper are already beaten will elicit a thoroughly deserved kicking.
As a footnote, however, it should be stressed that any goal scored by the Best Fighter will be met with universal acclaim, even if it falls into any of the latter three categories.

Penalties
At senior level, each side often has one appointed penalty-taker, who will defer to a teammate in special circumstances, such as his requiring one more for a hat trick. The playground side has two appointed penalty-takers: the Best Player and the Best Fighter. The arrangement is simple: the Best Player takes the penalties when his side is a retrievable margin behind, and the Best Fighter at all other times. If the side is comfortably in front, the ball-owner may be invited to take a penalty.
Goalkeepers are often the subject of temporary substitutions at penalties, forced to give up their position to the Best Player or Best Fighter, who recognise the kudos attached to the heroic act of saving one of these kicks, and are buggered if "little Billy" is going to steal any of it.

Close Season
This is known also as the Summer Holidays, which the players usually spend dabbling briefly in other sports: tennis for a fortnight while Wimbledon is on the telly; pitch-and-putt for four days during the Open; and cricket for about an hour and a half until they discover that it really is as boring to play as it is to watch.

[CartoonBoy]

Originally Posted by bigbuck

Hey Davo,
What about the tight shorts rule? Don't they have to be so tight as to cut off the circulation? Bit of a league/union fan myself Anyway, each to their own!
Brad.

Who's this guy? O yeh! He's the icon of budgie smuggling..........

http://www.shirtlessafl.com/sydney/capper2.jpg


No offence really meant Icewind, I'm not ripping the game off, I actually like to watch AFL it's a pretty tough game, NO NO this is a reaction from my learned conditioning of thought.

BRING BACK THE BIFF !!

http://www.acmp.com.au/portfolios/wh...k%20Capper.jpg

O, AND NRL...........GO THE MIGHTY KNIGHTS!!

[bigbuck]

Yeah! We're just foolin' with you Davo!

[bigc73542]

Australian Rules Football rules, it is great to watch.

bigc

[Icewind]

Oh, by the way, I was meant to say the Telstra Dome in Melbourne and not the MCG.

Don't worry about that. I don't mind "toying" around, as long as you don't full-on cuss or swear or say useless pointless nonsense which makes me red-in-the-face.

Cheers guys.
Davo.

P.S. That's Warwick Capper, as I had found out through your picture, CartoonBoy!

[CartoonBoy]

Hey Davo - is that game on Friday free to air or pay?

[Icewind]

Uh... good question... it's on free to pay T.V. (I think...). It's on Channel Nine at 8:30p.m.

Davo.

[CartoonBoy]

My beer is ordered