Barbie's Missing!

[Marja]

NEWS BULLETIN: BARBIE OF 'BARBIE AND KEN' FAME HAS BEEN REPORTED "MISSING"!

SHE WAS REPORTED MISSING BY HER AUNT EDNA, JUST YESTERDAY, "THIS ISN'T LIKE HER, SHE LETS US KNOW WHERE SHE IS GOING, ALL THE TIME?"

THE LAST PLACE BARBIE WAS SEEN WAS AT THIS STORE, IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT BARBIE, PLEASE CALL THE POLICE OR NOTTEL.

[Marja]

THIS TOWN IN A BUZZ WITH THE NEWS OF BARBIE'S DISAPPEARANCE A FEW DAYS AFTER SHE AND KEN SEEMED TO RETURN FROM A CYCLING VACATION-

READ ALL ABOUT IT IN THE 'FOLLYWOOD ARCADE"

HERE'S A PREVIEW FROM OUR SISTER PAPER!

[Marja]

In the local news, fans are agog at the advertisement apparently taken out in full page and full color by the one and only Ken!

This reporter cannot confirm the truth of this claim.

[Marja]

This story is getting curiouser and curiouser, this reporter's favorite frame of mind! AND just who is this La Flamingo? Hmmmmmmmmm, the plot thickens.

Maybe a visit to some of Barbie's friends will gather the information that her fans are accustomed to, also a look at what other reporters are, well, reporting!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Valentine’s Day blues for Barbie and Ken
LAUREN WEBER
Send Feedback E-mail this story Print this story
Posted online: Saturday, February 14, 2004 at 0000 hours IST

WASHINGTON, FEBRUARY 13: ALERT: There’s trouble in Malibu. Barbie and Ken have gone the way of J Lo and Ben. Following much public speculation about Ken’s sexual orientation and Barbie’s busy schedule (she does, after all, have 90 careers), the pair have decided to split.

‘‘After 43 years of dating, Barbie and Ken have drifted apart,’’ said Russell Arons, vice-president of marketing at Barbie and Ken’s parent company, Mattel. On the eve of the 101st annual American International Toy Fair in Manhattan, a major event when US retailers try to identify the next toy trends and place orders for the Christmas season, Mattel says Barbie, born in 1959, will reclaim her identity as a California girl with a ‘‘carefree and independent look.’’ Maybe Barbie got bored with Ken. Maybe she realised she didn’t need a man in order to be happy. Maybe Ken came out of the closet. But perhaps, say marketing experts, Mattel wanted to shed a doll that may have been an unprofitable drag on the Barbie name. ‘‘This pretend-boyfriend thing probably just wasn’t helping sales anymore

It's long been said that evem the most perfect Hollywood relationships never last forever -- just ask Ben and J. Lo.

But now, a fairy tale romance is coming to an end and it's got all of Hollywood buzzing.

Yes, it's true -- Ken and Barbie are breaking up after a blissful 43-year relationship.

"I will confirm that Ken and Barbie are going to go their separate ways," said publicist Ken Sunshine, who represents such Hollywood heavyweights as Ben Affleck, Justin Timberlake and Leonardo DiCaprio.

News of the breakup sent shockwaves across the globe.

"Barbie and Ken broke up, the universe is upside down," Deborah Gibson told Access. "The relationship always struck me as being a little plastic. What I want to know is who gets the ski chalet? Who gets the dream car?"

While Barbie was mum about the breakup, allegations were swirling about Ken's sexual preference.

Access' Billy Bush caught up with a close friend of Ken's and addressed the burning question on everyone's mind.

"I can speak to that, I've been with Ken for 10 years. Stop fronting Ken," said the equally-artificial G.I. Joe.

"So Joe, where did you and Ken actually meet," Billy asked.

"We were both summer traffic cops at Fire Island, that's where we met," the plastic military man explained, suddenly becoming very uncomfortable with the conversation.

"No more questions," G.I. Joe said.

Upon overhearing Joe's comments, an angry Ken quickly interjected.

"You're a liar, we have not been together," Ken erupted. "I'm as straight as an arrow."

A spokesperson for Ken subsequently released a statement, putting all rumors to rest.

"He is not of mixed gender in anyway," the spokesperson said.

As for the all-too-anatomically-perfect Barbie, she drove off in one of her many dream cars and reports indicate she will keep the dream house.

[Marja]

In other reports:

[Marja]

The beat goes on:

[Marja]

WHILE FOLLOWING THIS STORY, THIS REPORTER HAS FOUND OUT THAT AUNT EDNA, BARBIE'S DEAR AUNT SEEMS TO BE MISSING ALSO. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW INCONSISTENCIES IN AND AROUND HER TRAILER. HER BELOVED DOGS AND CAT SEEM TO BE SUFFERING A FEW DAYS OF "NO FOOD".

WE WILL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS WE FIND ANYTHING OUT FROM THE AUTHORITIES, AND FEED THE ANIMALS!

IF YOU SEE AUNT EDNA, REMEMBER SHE IS HARD OF HEARING AND CAN BE QUITE CANTANKEROUS!

[Marja]

It seems Aunt Edna had been worried about Barbie and Ken for a while, there is evidence at her trailer that points to a possible wrongful disppearance, this reporter will not add to the conjecture, we will dig to find the truth!

There have been a few stories that missed the front pages, possibly giving one clues to "What Happened to Barbie?"

[Marja]

This shameful episode was featured on a fraternity home movie!

[Marja]

FOUND IN DUMPSTER BEHIND NOTTEL MANUFACTURING BY THIS INTREPID REPORTER!! WHAT ELSE ARE THEY HIDING??!
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

New Hacker Barbie Hits Toy Stores
2006 NEW BARBIE! (LA, California)

NOTTEL announces their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, andn academically challenged. This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.

The Barbie clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of
well-worn jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with lenses thick enough to set ants on fire. (Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional.) The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 16 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "What's your Internet address?", "I like TCP/IP!", "Bummer! Your kernel must have gotten trashed," "Can't you grep that file?", and "DEC's Alpha AXP is awesome!"

"We are very excited about this product," said Ken Olsen, Marketing
Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage
incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." (A year ago, NOTTEL released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with a condescending companion Ken.) The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent management consultant who frequently asks Barbie for help.

The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
dolls. Naomi Falodji says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."

NOTTEL made no comment.

Parents, however, are worried that they will fall behind the children
technologically when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of rural Oxford, Mississippi, "and now she pays my credit card bill online.

Got no idea how she does it, but she surely does it. I just don't wanna be looked upon as some dumb mama." NOTTEL will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an introduction to expository writing.

[Cochise]

The whisper about Town is that Barbs has gone into re-hab at the Betty (You know who) Clinic under the name of Miss Plastiche. It appears that some spiteful little kid took her from his little Sisters collection and did her some damage, consequently rumour has it she was last seen 'Legless' in Vegas......draw your own conclusions or draw a little house with windows and a door.....it's up to you.....


CoPaparazzichise, 8)

[Marja]

THIS STORY IS EVEN LEAKING INTO PRIMETIME SHOWS!

WHERE WILL IT STOP? HOW ARE FANS TAKING IT?

[Marja]

OH! THOSE PAPARATTZEE'S! THEY CANNOT HOLD A

CANDLE TO THIS REPORTER'S REPORTS!

THIS REPORTER SAYS THIS TO YOU PAPA RAT-ZEE'S!

[Primrose]

More..More..shake that boodie cutie :-*

[Cochise]

-{ Quote: "OH! THOSE PAPARATTZEE'S! THEY CANNOT HOLD A

CANDLE TO THIS REPORTER'S REPORTS!

THIS REPORTER SAYS THIS TO YOU PAPA RAT-ZEE'S!
" }-


Precocious little Hussy.....she needs to have her legs given a good smacking... *puppy*


Cochise, 8)

[Marja]

THE TABLOIDS HAVE PICKED UP THE SCENT, TELLING BY PREVIOUS POSTERS!

REE-AAALY! HMMMPH!

[Marja]

NO NEWS IS NOT ALWAYS GOOD NEWS!

[Marja]

THE WOODWORK IS CRAWLING!

[Marja]

'THEY' SAY SHE WAS IN INSPIRATION TO BARBIE'S EVERYWHERE!

YOU MAY SIGN THE GUESTBOOK AFTER THE SHOW FOR A REMEMBRANCE OF DOLLS EVERYWHERE!

[Marja]

THIS REPORTER INTERVIEWS SOME OF KEN'S 'ACQUAINTANCES'.

[Marja]

THIS REPORTER'S JOB IS NEVER DONE.

[Marja]

KEN'S CLAIM TO FAME IS NOT!

[Marja]

A SAD TURN OF EVENTS.

[Marja]

MORE NEWS.

[Marja]

FANS FROM ALL OVER REACH OUT TO FIND BABS!

COMING UP - POP TOP DRIVE STARTED BY INTOXSICKATED, BOBBLE HEADS FOR BARBIE, BENEFIT FOR AUNT EDNA, WILDERS' REUNION PLANS ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIPS FOR EVERYONE!

[Rita]

As Barbies sister I want to say "keep up the good reporting Marja"
lolI need to be kept up to date on all these happenings

[Marja]

IN THE ENTERTAINMENT FIELD - MANY MISS BABS, BUT THE "SHOW MUST GO ON", OUR THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU, AUNT EDNA AND BABS!

[Marja]

OK, RITA! THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BABS SISTER - RITA! IT IS GREAT TO HEAR YOU ARE KEEPING UP YOUR SPIRITS!

HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE VIEWERS?

WE WELCOME ALL COMMENTS AND NEWS FROM OUR VIEWERS!

[Marja]

GOOD TIME WILL BE HAD AT THE BOBBLING FOR BABS BENNY TONITE!

DETAILS AT BJ'S DANCE AND SPIN, WILDMAN'S HIDEOUT, THE SPY SHOPPES, PRIMROSE' SHOWBAR AND CHEZ COCHISE!

[Marja]

A SNEAK PREVIEW OF PROGRAM AND SPONSORS

[Marja]

THIS STORY WAS QUASHED BY NOTTEL EXECUTIVES BACK IN FEBURARY!!

Column by JIM PFIFFER
Star-Gazette


Barbie Dumps Drug-Crazed Ken After "Years of Abuse."

"He pulled off my limbs and laughed!" says the estranged fashion doll.



NEW YORK -- One of the world's prettiest pairs parted ways and revealed a scandalous secret life of abuse, drugs and deprived depravity that has left the fashion doll world in a total tizzy.

Barbie Millicent Roberts, aka "Barbie," says she endured years of physical abuse, infidelity and haunting questions of Ken's sexual identity.

"One time he got drunk and mad and pulled off all my limbs!" said Barbie, dressed in a smart pink business suit. "He thought it was so funny, he fell on the floor laughing."

Barbie said the abuse, calls to police and stints in Betty Fiord clinics were hidden from the public by NOTTEL executives bent on preserving the couple's all-American image.

The problems stemmed from Ken's jealousy of Barbie's fame and attention.

"He saw himself as window dressing to her," said Barbie's kid sister, Skippy. "He always said he felt like 'Raggedy Ann's Andy.' I never knew what that meant, until now."

Friends of the couple say Barbie was demeaning to Ken in public.

"She said he had no ambition and always compared him to G.I. Joe and his success," Skippy said. "She knew the bloom was gone from her rose, so she had to put down Ken, to make herself feel better."

A former gardener at Barbie's Dream House said the long-legged doll paid more attention to her many Barbie vehicles and pets than to Ken.

"She had like 21 dogs, 12 horses, ponies, a chimpanzee and a giraffe," the gardener said. "She spent more time with that monkey than with Ken."

Barbie said problems began when they couple moved to California in 1971 to launch "Malibu Barbie."

Ken started hanging out with the wrong crowd of has-been Cabbage Patch Kids, Tickle Me Elmos and Funky Troll Dolls. He soon fell into a steamy affair with an inflatable doll.

But it was Ken's confusion about his sexuality that drove him to drugs and alcohol, said Midge, Barbie's closest friend.

"Ken never knew what team he should play on," Midge said. "He tried to show the world that he wasn't gay, but he knew it was a lie. Few people know this, but the baby I was carrying was his. It was all NOTTEL'S idea. They wanted to show consumers that Ken was straight."

Barbie said she found the courage to end their relationship after Ken went on another bender and wrecked the Barbie Ford Thunderbird convertible.

"He blew like a .30," Barbie said. "It was his fifth or sixth DWI this year. But nothing happened to him because NOTTEL took care of everything. It got to the point where he thought he was above the law. I couldn't sit by and watch it any more."

NOTTEL officials declined comment. Ken was unavailable for comment, as he and Raggedy Andy were on an all-male booze cruise ocean liner headed to the Greek Islands.

[Sugabella]

I know that you are trying to blame us the bratz but we didn't do it . Barbie is so old school we are today ,now and at this time.

[ronjor]

Anyone that doesn't read this thread is missing Marja's work of art. :D
She pegged the members here. ;D

[BeetleBoss]

Marja~your great!!!

This is just hilarious!!

http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1231/z7shysterical.gif...http://www.castlefm.net/sm/std/lol.gif...http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1231/z7shysterical.gif....http://www.castlefm.net/sm/std/lol.gif....http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1231/z7shysterical.gif

[Primrose]

We are all going to end up in the paddy wagon when this show goes on the road. :o

Keep your pecker up COCHISE and you can ride shotgun. 8)

[Marja]

MORE FOLLYWOOD NEWS!

[Marja]

MORE NEWS!

[Marja]

SIS GOES ON THE "HUNT"!!

[Marja]

BOUNTY HUNTERS?

[Marja]

PAGE ?

[Marja]

STAY TUNED IN FOR THE BOBBLING FOR BABS BENEFIT TOMORROW!
POSSIBLE LEAD ON AUNT EDNA! MARRIED IN LAS VEGAS??

WE PRIDE OURSELVES ON GIVING YOU THE INSIDE SCOOP BEFORE ANYONE ELSE FLUSHES OUT THE STORY!

MARJA,ESQ.

[Primrose]

Put on a clean Tuxedo dog, it says here on the back page of THE FOLLYWOOD ARCADE, Hayc59 is going to make a big splash in Vegas before the LSD melts. :D

[Marja]

ROFLMAO!!! PRIMROSE YOU ARE ...A SHOWMAN!! LOL!!

[Primrose]

Well Jiminy Cricket :o , last time we knew they were both taking Beano in Reno before for your next Edition :-* ..so that was a shocker. :P

http://lhasa-apso.co.za/adverts.htm

[Lurkerella]

This is confusing - what does LSD have to do with Beano even if it didn't happen in Reno with Jiminy Crickett?

Is this a clue of Barbie's whereabouts?

Very surreal ending?? I am wondering if those Bratz did do something here?

[Cochise]

If Jimminy Cricket has something to do with all this....would it help if we all "Give a little Whistle"??........ :)



Cochise, 8)

PS. If you have never seen Pinnochio...forget what I just said.... ;D

[Sugabella]

I just want barbie home where she is missed.I don't hate you barbie. I know now that every one want me in the movies I have a good left side and can sing. (but I do want what is her name again )Back
Well i know that we will find her soon :'( :'( :-[

[Marja]

SugaBella, you are such a humble movie star! You will go far, thinks this reporter.

You have a good right side too, don't you? And you can sing! We must set up a concert!

I am hoping we find (what's her name again) too!

Are you sure the BRATZ didn't get carried away and mail her in a box or somethin? Nor you! But, maybe some of your rowdy cuzzins? Just a thought!

Of course we know Pinnochio, it's just harder to spell then Barbie!! ;D

How' the auditions going, Cochise? Did ya catch Big Ed and BigBuck' show??

Well, think I smell a story, or maybe dinner is burning???

[Marja]

I forgot to say if anyone has any ideas of where (what's her name) is, please post here! Any little clue will add to the big picture, cuz I haven't a clue what happened to W>H>N>???

Someone said her and Nat Gothica ran off to exotic lands, but wouldn't Nat tell us? :'(

[ronjor]

This looks hopeless until Nat reports in.

[Marja]

I am afraid you are right, Ronjor! We wouldn't want to go off on a Wild Tangent or find out Nat was in trouble too!

:o :o I wish I wouldn't have thought of that!

This might be a job for Zorro, CartoonBoy, and well, all the guys at Wilders?!?!

We gals can check out the places you can't go, and you can check out the places we ..er. hmmm ..sigh.. can't go! I do hope there are some understanding movie stars and dance club owners involved in this! ::)

[ronjor]

Did you say Wild Tangent? Careful, that is a keyword that Stubby and gang look for. On second thought, that could be a clue---------

[Marja]

You might be right, Zorro!

Do you think we should go to the Malibu cop shop and tell Stubby and Snuffy??

But, where did I get that clue? I don't have a clue- where I got that clue!?!!?!

Maybe...that's a clue tooooo!!!!

I must try to remember where I heard that???Clue...

[ronjor]

-{ Quote: "Do you think we should go to the Malibu cop shop and tell Stubby and Snuffy??" }-

Good idea! I'll pick up some Brylcreem for the boys. They love that stuff!

http://www.pointon.f2s.com/Beatlish_Assets/brylcreem.jpg
Brylcreem, a little dab will do you!

[Marja]

GOOD IDEA, ZORRO! THEY LIKE THOSE RED OVERALLS SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET THEM SOME OF THOSE BIG, TRAIN ENGINEER HANDKERCHIEFS FOR THEIR BACK POCKETS IN CASE THEY MEET SOME CRYING WOMEN!

I'LL TRY TO FIND A BOB'S BIG BOY SOMEWHERE? DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE THO!

I SEEM TO BE HEARING A SONG ABOUT BRYLCREEM BUT IT FADES OFF TOO FAST!

I REFUSE TO BUY ANYTHING WITH ONIONS FOR THOSE BIG BOYS!

[ronjor]

http://homepage.mac.com/mlim/.Pictures/moxie/fuzzybucket.jpg
No wonder we can't find anybody! These new hats are great disguises.

[Marja]

OOH! At first I thought it was a "NAT" hat! But, it's kinda differently made, what IS it made of?

I guess I could put one on, in the interest of deep throat journalism.... not very excited about it, Zorro!

Rather wear your hat!! Hand me the Brylcreem.

[INTOXSICKATED]

-{ Quote: "Good idea! I'll pick up some Brylcreem for the boys." }-
i have no hair.:'(

[Marja]

That's OK, Intox!! No hair is the style now!

Think Yul Brynner! The Wayons Brothers, most of which are very popular with the ladies! Most Pro Athletes!?

I am sure your wife loves you and thinks you are as handsome as ever!

You ARE NOT your hair!! Get a Grip, Intox!

Your just TAXED today! Right!?!

You'll be fine, maybe Nat will be back tomorrow, she will tell you the same thing! Ask BBoss.

If you took that pumpkin off your head - your hair might grow back?

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "i have no hair.:'(" }-


You could host the BOBBLING FOR BABS hair club Benefit. The celebrity poker tournament will be the hightlight of the evening. You will need a royal flush to beat a full house. ;D Would you like another card ? 8)

[Marja]

THE BEAT GOES ON!

[Marja]

pAGE 2

[Marja]

BOBBLING FOR BABS SET FOR SUNDAY! 5 TO 7 EST.
BRING YOUR FAVORITE BOBBLE DOLL OR SOMEONE YOU WISH WERE A BOBBLEHEAD.

[mikel108]

I-I-I be-ee-nn looking aa-aa-llll over for ttt-hhhaa-t Baarbie g-g-giirrll. SHARON!!

[Cochise]

Errrrr! Is 'Bobbleing for Barbie' the same as 'Bobbing for Apples'?....if it is, count me in......I'll just go and get my Snorkling gear......



Cochise, 8)

[Marja]

(help! someone's kidnapped my computer person, i have been hiding in a recipe file, no one will look 4 me there, where's my person- she was typing and now i can't find her? i lost my i sight!)

[Marja]

she left this cd in me, but i can't read wi'out my person......can you read it?

[Marja]

can' stay connected very long at a time, hurry and get the cd!

[ronjor]

http://kc048.k12.sd.us/images/Peanuts%20clips/psychiatrist.gif ;D

[Marja]

i keep getting disconnected to the net, if you find my person, tell her to get dsl! i feel like a second class puter!

[ronjor]

Ready to bobble!http://kafula.msrc.sunysb.edu/~barbados/photos96/frogman.JPG

[mikel108]

For Immediate Press Release :

[#1 Barbie Fan]

As Barbie's #1 Canadian fan, all I have to say about Barbie missing is....

Like, no way, EH!!

[chachazz]

"Our sentiments exactly!....speaking for the whole 'B. Bunch' we want you to know just how disturbing Bab's disappearance is to the whole family"

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "(help! someone's kidnapped my computer person, i have been hiding in a recipe file, no one will look 4 me there, where's my person- she was typing and now i can't find her? i lost my i sight!)" }-

Your person was out mixing some of that pretty blue drink for the gals in her CD (chaffing Dish). :(

You won't have to stay lost very long..


http://forum.gladiator-antivirus.com/upload/post-28-1113759229.jpg

Just don't drink that stuff too fast..nothing wrong with a little tree time to put your thought together . ;)

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "Ready to bobble!-{ Quote: "

Just don't get too excited yet :D ..BAB's might first have to go jogging with Anna Nicole before she makes her appearance. ;) That blue stuff has lots of calories.

[Primrose]

I still think while Ken is whacked out riding his jet ski trying to hook up with anything with two legs..hayc59 knows something more than meets the eye on the whereabouts of Aunt Edna and BAB's the FAB. :lurking:

[AUNT EDNA]

THIS SEARCH WILL CONTINUE - WE WILL NOT LEAVE BARBIE OUT OF OUR HEARTS AND MINDS.

WE WILL NOT GIVE UP UNTIL SHE IS SAFELY HOME.

EVEN IF I HAVE TO FINANCE THE SEARCH MY SELF,

BARBIE WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

CALL WILDERS' IF YOU CAN! PLEASE COME HOME! :'(



DUE TO THE AWFUL TRAGEDY OF THE FOREIGN DIGNATARIES AND THEIR BOBBLE HEAD CONSTITUENTS THIS PAPER HAD NO CHOICE TO CALL OFF THE BOBBLE HEAD BALL.

FURTHER UPDATES WILL BE GIVEN IN THE FOLLYWOOD ARCADE WEEKEND EDITION. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THE REPORTER HAS BEEN CHASTISED AND WILL NOT HAVE THE LAVISH EXPENSE ACCOUNT SHE WAS PRIVILEGED TO RECEIVE!

FURTHERMORE SHE WILL HAVE MINDERS TO KEEP HER FLAMBOYANT ATTITUDE IN CHECK.

ALREADY SHE HAS DRAINED THE COMPANY COFFERS OF THE BUDGETS OF 2005, 2006, 2007,2008, AND ALMOST 2009.

ANYONE SEEING THE AFORE MENTIONED REPORTER DRINKING ANY THING BLUE WILL RECEIVE A GENEROUS REWARD AND TWO WEEK VACATION IN A LITTLE TOWN IN KANSAS!

I. M. GOTROCKS, XIX - FORMER CARPETBAGGER, NOW CEO OF ANYTHING HE CAN STEAL, DESTROY OR DEMOLISH
(I DO NOT LIKE TO BE UPSTAGED, THIS REPORTER DID THAT! SHE WILL BE DULY TAKEN CARE OF, WHEN WE NO LONGER NEED HER SERVICES, MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT!)


SINCE THIS REPORTER WAS THE REPORTER HE WAS TALKING ABOUT - SHE DECLINED TO INTERVIEW HIM! LET'S SEE HIM INTERVIEW THIS,........EHEY.............HIS OWN......HEY !......................!!MKMMUFFLE........MUFFLE........TO BE CONT'D. ??................KICK!! HARD.................................;D

[Cochise]

You will all, no doubt, be pleased and excited to know that two of the finest Detectives that ever drew breath or (drew rude things in Toilets) have been hired to attempt to find the elusive Beryl....."What?....Barbie?....I thought she was called Beryl.....OK!...OK!"......Have been hired to find the elusive Barbie.....They are Inspector Corner of the Yard (Also known as Bigbuck to his only friend down the Pub, Littledoe) and his faithful Aide de Camp (With less emphasis on the Camp, he's very manly actually)...Spotty (The Sniffer dog) Muldoon.....(Also known as Cochise, or known by most of the people he comes into contact with as... 'Who'??.....

So watch this space or look at a blank wall, just as long as your all doing something negative whilst you wait for the flood of information, or not, as the case may be.............


Spotty, 8)

[bigbuck]

:lurking: :lurking: :lurking:

http://www.sunways-direct.com/magnifying%20glass.JPG

:lurking: :lurking: :lurking:

[Firecat]

Hmm....Wonder what kind of lens is used in that glass....hmm ;D

[ronjor]

http://www.fda.gov/cdrh/present/dia_jan_2000/DIA-Jan-2000-3.gif

Hard at work.

[~*Nat*~]

http://img9.echo.cx/img9/8011/manlook6so.gif



So am I.

[Primrose]

I am outclassed ;D so I will wait this one out..good luck Sleuths :o

[Sugabella]

-{ Quote: "-{ Quote: "Ready to bobble!-{ Quote: "

Just don't get too excited yet :D ..BAB's might first have to go jogging with Anna Nicole before she makes her appearance. ;) That blue stuff has lots of calories." }-
I asked you not to show that pic of me now i'm sad thanks i thought you are my friend :'( :'( ??? >:(

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "-{ Quote: "-{ Quote: "Ready to bobble!
I asked you not to show that pic of me now i'm sad thanks i thought you are my friend :'( :'( ??? >:(" }-

Awww sucks Suga..The plot thickens as the pot thickens. ;D Those are the day of our lives as you search for tomorrow with all my children. You can get exercise planting Primrose. But only Witches roast a cat on the edge of night.
;)
pass me another Twinkie..Oprah is coming on :P

[Nika]

no no barbie 4 me, also when was lil girl.

http://keetano.com/jj/miss4.gif
:P

[Primrose]

I strill think she will show up when you least expect it . :P She never could pass up a party. ;D

[ronjor]

I think this is an attempt to throw us off course.
http://www.waingate.freeserve.co.uk/Resources/sheep6.jpg

[Primrose]

Yup..it might have all just been a bad dream :) Too many lima beans :P

[Rita]

Barbie Has Had A Tough Week: Sliding Sales and a Lawsuit

April 19, 2005
Barbie Has Had A Tough Week: Sliding Sales and a Lawsuit
Poor Barbie. She's had a pretty tough week. First, its announced that her sales slipped 15 percent in the first quarter of 2005. Then, she gets slapped with a law suit by MGA Entertainment, makers of the trendy Bratz dolls, who claim that the My Scene Barbie dolls copy various aspect of th Bratz dolls. Hmm...someone might mention to MGA that they sort of copied the whole concept of a modern fashion doll with friends, clothes and accessories from Barbie.
All this has made for quite an interesting week of commentary on both Barbie and Bratz. In our Barbie Dolls Forum, collectors share their ideas on how to jazz up the Barbie dolls line. And, in the Cornell Daily Sun, Logan Bromer takes an interesting look at Bratz dolls, entitled Are We Slutz?.

[ronjor]

No wonder we can't find Barbie. She flew the coop!!

[Marja]

AND SO AFTER A LONG BLUE SCREEN SPELL.....:(

[Marja]

AND LOOONG TIME UPLOADING.....

[Marja]

IN A SMALL TOWN, THE NEWS COMES EARLY IN CASE THE BLUE MENACE..

[Marja]

...SHOWS UP AGAIN.....

[Marja]

NEVERMIND THE LOOOOONG DIAL-UP UPLOADING....

[Marja]

I WONDER IF THOSE NEW DETECTIVES ARE DOING BETTER THAN I AM????

[Firecat]

Hmm....I met a blonde girl who asked me for shelter...looked amazingly like Barbie...said her name was Barbara. She's staying at my home right now.

Is she the one you are looking for? ;D

[Marja]

YIKES! FIRECAT, SOME VERY NEFARIOUS PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR HER, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVITE ANY STRANGE BLONDES OVER?? OR MAYBE BEETLEBOSS DID?? ANYWAY, IF IT'S BARBIE, CALL BUCK OR COCHISE, THEY CAN GET TO YOU FASTER!!!

YOU MAY BE IN BIIIIIG TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN!

[Cochise]

Sorry to say Folks but after having their fingers to the grindstone and elbows to the Mill and after searching the Lingth, length and Longth of the known World....Inspector Corner of the Yard and Spotty Muldoon have failed to find a trace of the elusive Beryl......[EDIT]...Bambi....[EDIT]....TCH!...Barbie.....and so we have both taken early retirement and begun frittering away our Pensions on things and stuff at Big Eds' retirement Home for the Bewildered.....(Anything eatable and some good strong underwear would be appreciated)....

Inspector C and Spotty, :P

[Primrose]

I have not had much luck either..but I think she was doing some hanky-panky on the beach the other day.. :o But that could be just a bail of Hay. :P

[CartoonBoy]

BARBIE!! BAMBIE !! WHOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooEver!! just steer clear of the blowhole !! :o This could be a catastrophic disaster to the Barbie/Bambie/Blonde girly lady thingo !!!!!!!!!

http://www.larochecreative.com/judge.jpg


The judge CALLS FOR ADJURNMENT !!!!!

[Primrose]

A friend of mine thought he might have seen her at at Moulin Huge

http://www.kwsnforum.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=356&sid=6b8211a9bf0164083dd2e07d01bbee83

But I checked eveyone in the Audience and did not spot her. ;)

[ronjor]

She may be in disguise.http://www.costumeuniverse.com/prodspics/50062.jpg

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "She may be in disguise." }-

Lordy Lucy ! ::) Maybe even in Disguise with Diamonds :) She is such a Material Girl in a Mattelery World.


http://favorabledicta.blogspot.com/2004/05/hey-there-barbie-girl.html


http://www.mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/Issues/mn7502/idontknow.html

[ronjor]

Aging Barbie

Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1. Bifocals Barbie - Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie - Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie - As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teeny tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie - Good news on the tummy front, too - moomoos with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie - Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie - Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines wiith a tube of Skin Sparkle Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie - All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie - It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered... along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie - Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie - Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book, coffee cup and pack of smokes.

[Cochise]

-{ Quote: "Aging Barbie

Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1. Bifocals Barbie - Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie - Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie - As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teeny tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie - Good news on the tummy front, too - moomoos with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie - Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie - Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines wiith a tube of Skin Sparkle Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie - All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie - It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered... along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie - Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie - Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book, coffee cup and pack of smokes." }-


NOW your talking Ron....Sounds like my kind of Woman..any chance of her turning up at the retirement Home



Cochise,

[Primrose]

Yup..the gal has been around for a long time..but don't count her out just yet. :P

[Primrose]

We might even be able to enlist the help of Mick to find Barbie. ;D

[mikel108]

Did they eventually find Barbie ??? I heard she might have been beamed up!

[chachazz]

I hear she went all the way :o ..Klingon....

http://www.nexusdesignsbyjulia.com/Images/SalesScifi/FemaleKlingon.JPG

[Cochise]

-{ Quote: "I have not had much luck either..but I think she was doing some hanky-panky on the beach the other day.. :o But that could be just a bail of Hay. :P" }-

NEVER....NEVER....Put your mouth to a porpoise blow-hole......unless you wish to become four times your normal size and then go whizzing off in all directions whilst making really strange noises, as in, when you let go of a fully blown up balloon....you have been warned......... ;D I will not elucidate as to which parts of your body the sounds will be emitted.....it's an experience never to be repeated............. ;D


Cochise, 8)

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "Did they eventually find Barbie ??? I heard she might have been beamed up!" }-
No she's still here. I just don't think too many people want her. :o

[wildman]

http://e4u.deltait.com.au/dressed/bek183.gif

A little clue! Perhaps one needs to look for her in Canada. One must look for a certain specialty store dealing in very "adult" style unusual attire. Enough said.

Thanks
Wildman

[bigc73542]

I heard a rumor that Barbie was running a bed and breakfast up in Alaska
http://victorianwoodshop.com/pics/dolls/cherry/c100.jpg

[Marja]

and changed her name to "PamelaJoy"? LOL!

[bigc73542]

There is also a rumor that she is in mexico enjoying being an enchilada and laying around all day in the sauna.
http://creativefreedomdefense.org/Graphics/Food%20Chain/BarbieEnchiladas.jpg

[wildman]

:-X O.k. a little more of a hint. One must look hard at how zealously the controllers of Barbie try an protect her name. Those familiar with trade mark and especially paten names will perhaps be able to figure out this clue. Again look toward Canada.

Thanks
Wildman

[mikel108]

WOW Wildman, Barbie has been in Canada!

[wildman]

http://www.wilderssecurity.com/images/other/FACE.GIF

O.k. a little more info. A certain lady in Canada wants to use Barbie's name for her very "adult" leather related apparel shop. Reliable sources indicate that thus far she may get to do just that. If Barbie is there, she could very well be in a tight situation.

Thanks
Wildman

[mikel108]

Ahhhh...I found her.....................

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/print/CTVNews/1095537386285_12?hub=Canada&subhub=PrintStory

[BeetleBoss]

No, I found her.......

http://www.wilderssecurity.com/images/other/shock.gif

http://image24.webshots.com/25/6/16/71/38361671IbqBLN_ph.jpg

[wildman]

-{ Quote: "Ahhhh...I found her.....................

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/print/CTVNews/1095537386285_12?hub=Canada&subhub=PrintStory" }-

:) Mikel108 has indeed solved the case. We now must think of ways to extract Barbie from this predicament.

Thanks
Wildman

http://users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/crazy/322.gif