Capp
December 16th, 2004, 10:17 PM
Late one night, an alien spacecraft landed near a deserted gas station. One of the aliens came down the ramp, looked around, and walked over to one of the gas pumps.
He demanded, "Earthling! Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump did not reply. The alien became agitated and again demanded, "Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump remained silent
Frustrated, the alien went back to the spacecraft where he was confronted by the captain,
"Report what you have found out about Earthlings," demanded the captian.
"I contacted the earthling, but he would not cooperate."
"I will have to deal with this earthling myself," said the captain.
"Yes sir. Be careful sir, I have a feeling there could be trouble."
The captain left the ship and approached the gas pump.
"Earthling, you will cooperate. Take me to your leader."
The gas pump remained unresponsive
"Very well!" The captain drew his blaster. "If you do not respond by the count of three, I shall be forced to fire on you. One. Two. Three."
ZZZZZZT. WHAM!!! The gas pump exploded, knocking the alien back. The captain jumped up and got back to the ship as fast as he could.
"Quickly! Make ready to depart!"
"Yes sir. What happened sir?"
"I fired on the earthling and it responded very forcefully."
"Sorry sir, I was afraid that might happen."
"How did you know that there would be trouble?"
"Well sir, I assume that anyone that can take his pecker, wrap it around his feet and stick it in his left ear is probably going to be one bad bastard"
He demanded, "Earthling! Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump did not reply. The alien became agitated and again demanded, "Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump remained silent
Frustrated, the alien went back to the spacecraft where he was confronted by the captain,
"Report what you have found out about Earthlings," demanded the captian.
"I contacted the earthling, but he would not cooperate."
"I will have to deal with this earthling myself," said the captain.
"Yes sir. Be careful sir, I have a feeling there could be trouble."
The captain left the ship and approached the gas pump.
"Earthling, you will cooperate. Take me to your leader."
The gas pump remained unresponsive
"Very well!" The captain drew his blaster. "If you do not respond by the count of three, I shall be forced to fire on you. One. Two. Three."
ZZZZZZT. WHAM!!! The gas pump exploded, knocking the alien back. The captain jumped up and got back to the ship as fast as he could.
"Quickly! Make ready to depart!"
"Yes sir. What happened sir?"
"I fired on the earthling and it responded very forcefully."
"Sorry sir, I was afraid that might happen."
"How did you know that there would be trouble?"
"Well sir, I assume that anyone that can take his pecker, wrap it around his feet and stick it in his left ear is probably going to be one bad bastard"