How do i get out of this?

[snowbound]

Hi guys

I need your help. :-\
Some of u must have had this dilemma before.

My wife tells me i spend way to much time at
"Paul's house"
Today she caught me again. I told her it is in her best interest that i learn how to protect our valuable investment (My computer,oh! i mean our computer) ;)

She just laughs And says "your having way too much fun over there,what is really going on?" :(
I just shrug :-\ (this just puts off the inevitable)

She says i spend more time over here than with her.

I say"come on honey(heavy on the sweetstuff,it works everytime) u know that's not true, I spend at least the same amount of time with u"

OOOH MAN! :o must have had a brain cramp to let that come out of my mouth!

She said "that's it fool, paul's house is off limits for at least the weekend!"

I said" please honey, anything but that!" :o

She said" don't honey me, your new friends over there will just have to do without u"

So guys, that's where it stands right now. Just to get this message out i had to create a covert operation worthy of any "CIA" operative. 8)

I will check back later, when she goes to see her mother.
"Mother in laws really do come in handy sometimes!"hehehe ;)

oh oh, i think i hear her coming!
Gotta go,any help greatly appreciated
PS- Ladies suggestions welcome too, just don't tell my wife SSHHHHHHHH!
Bye guys

Snowbound

[RJ100]

OK, We're feelin the love, oh yeah love is in the air...... :-*

Well, I suggest you build yourself a second home...... ;)

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "She says i spend more time over here than with her.

I say"come on honey(heavy on the sweetstuff,it works everytime) u know that's not true, I spend at least the same amount of time with u"

OOOH MAN! :o must have had a brain cramp to let that come out of my mouth!" }-

You know now, you're going to have to buy her a present to "make up" :-*. You're going to have to go at least this far now, and hope it is still smoothing things over for the next time.

http://www.gifs.net/animate/911_turbo_anim.gif



Good Luck!!
PS, and it doesn't matter if you can't afford it. Buy it for her if you want to live!!!!! :o :o :o

[LowWaterMark]

You're taking the wrong approach!

Get her involved here and hopefully addicted, too! Then the problem will be who gets to be online when. But, you solve that by getting a second PC and setting up a LAN to share the connection, and so one...

;D

[snapdragin]

-{ Quote: " quoting: LowWaterMark link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=0#msg99682 date=1068259204]
getting a second PC and setting up a LAN to share the connection, and so one...
;D
" }-

That was EXACTLY what i was gonna tell him! LOL Now when you get that 2nd pc, you make sure you set the other one up in ohh, say an upstairs or downstaires (but not in the same room as your's). Then when she is on her's and you are on your's, you can send her romantic messages back and forth; arrange for quiet dinner meetings between the cable connections (hopefully someplace between the upstairs and downstairs, wing it! :D ) and of course, you can't forget to invite the rowdy dinner guests!!--->THAT'S US! :P

[Bowserman]

-{ Quote: "

Now when you get that 2nd pc, you make sure you set the other one up in ohh, say an upstairs or downstaires (but not in the same room as your's). Then when she is on her's and you are on your's, you can send her romantic messages back and forth; arrange for quiet dinner meetings between the cable connections (hopefully someplace between the upstairs and downstairs, wing it! :D )

" }-

Awww, now that is a great idea snappy.......very romantic. I think I will use this advice when I get another computer.

'Tis a plan for this good man ;).

Regards,
Jade.

[Acadia]

-{ Quote: " quoting: Bowserman link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=0#msg99691 date=1068264975]
Awww, now that is a great idea snappy.......very romantic. I think I will use this advice when I get another computer.
" }-

... And don't forget Snappy's other good idea about inviting us for dinner! ;)

Acadia

[Bowserman]

-{ Quote: " quoting: Acadia link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=0#msg99720 date=1068284651]
-{ Quote: " quoting: Bowserman link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=0#msg99691 date=1068264975]
Awww, now that is a great idea snappy.......very romantic. I think I will use this advice when I get another computer.
" }-

... And don't forget Snappy's other good idea about inviting us for dinner! ;)

Acadia
" }-

Darn it! I thought nobody would notice that I left that part out :o :P.

Regards,
Jade.

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "... And don't forget Snappy's other good idea about inviting us for dinner! ;)

Acadia
" }-

I hope you've got a big screen TV too. 8) Thanksgiving dinner and http://www.gifs.net/animate/aniball2.gif
Yeah!!! ;D ;D ;D

[Mr.Blaze]

:D lol how to bypass significant other 2.0 lol

First thing first in the morning do something nice for her you normaly wouldnt do 5 minutes.

for example pick up your dirty sox or other cloths from the floor or something equaly spechial take one for the team lol


second spend 40 minutes of idle chat with her over breakfeast avoid the computer fight the erge

after you kiss her take you coffe to the pc lol

third during late afternone you must spend time watching tv with her something she likes for 1 hour watch from start to finish

then go back to pc

4th thing at night time you must eat dinner with her at reguler table 40 minutes fight the erge to take dinner to pc

5th thing late at night do your duty for 10 minutes with her and then cuddle for 5 minutes and come back to pc lol

toataL TIME OF PAINE AND SUFERING 2 HOUR 40 MINUTES

total time of pc play time 15 hours and some minutes lol

but the way the plan is set up lol it will seem like you spend more time with her lol

she wont know lol ;D

[Mr.Blaze]

:Dps never show the blaze 2.0 plan to signifigant other may result in fatal termination lol

[RJ100]

-{ Quote: " quoting: Mr.Blaze link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=0#msg99771 date=1068310752]
:Dps never show the blaze 2.0 plan to signifigant other may result in fatal termination lol
" }-

;D LOL ;D

[beetlejuice]

What's the blaze 3.0 plan when she figures out what you really did? :o :o :o

[Mr.Blaze]

blaze 3.0 plan is run for the hills lol

if 2.0 was found out about you might as well run for the border i recomend canadah

[snowbound]

Hi guys!

For some reason my wife has let me come out to play earlier than expected( might have something to do with all that crying :'( in my sleep laste night, she did look kind of tired this morning)

I like all suggestions made and the second PC will be forecoming.

Until that time the BLAZE2.0 will be implemented immediately. I have looked it over carefully and it looks foolproof. It is now tucked away in secret file to avoid the termination factor.
It will take affect as soon as she gets home from receiving her 3rd degree blackbelt from her karate Class.

I will need to be notified of all updates and rulesets for the blaze2.0.
If u saw my ZA+ firewall u would understand why.I 'm not very good at it but at least my life doesn't depend on it.

If i was u MR. BLAZE i would put a patented on the 2.0 as soon as possible. I think it will be used frequently by people in my situation.

All suggesstion are greatly appreciated. The only one not to be considered is the one submitted by BEETLEJUICE. If my wife saw that car(she is a sports car nut) i would have to work 18 hrs a day for the next 5 years to pay for it.

I thought i might get a suggestion from the owner of this house( that's u paul), but in his infinite wisdom i'm sure he decided to stay away from this situation.

If anyone else has any more ideas let me know. It is always good to have a backup plan in case the Blaze2.0 goes down for any reason. It is vital for my well being.

I think i hear her pulling into the driveway now so i will keep u all informed on how the 2.0 performs.

Thank u all and if u don't see me for a while you'll know
there was a fatal crash in the BLAZE2.0.

Snowbound

[Uguel707]

Loooooooool! I enjoy this thread! ;D ;D ;D

I also encountered difficulties with my circle for they didn't want me to get a computer. There was a lot of inverted snobbery going around--people talking about the "virtual goggle box" and the "idiot's internet connexion".-- So It was a new-fangled thing in my surrounding. I escaped many of their criticisms just by telling them that the internet helps the environment by saving paper<------------->trees. They thought of it and concluded that it may be not so bad after all! Since then, I can open my computer safely!


So, I suggest you build a plausible rationale to tell her why it's good for you to open your computer..for example, while computing you are still in the house...you might otherwise be elsewhere like in a pub...or at a football match...and, after all, it is good for her to have her beloved around in the house.

-{ Quote: "By Snowbound:
Thank u all and if u don't see me for a while you'll know
there was a fatal crash in the BLAZE2.0." }-

"All developpers were informed on that issue. You can be ensured that new updates will correct any faults that may be found it the previous version"

Uguel's suggestion: Do not try to fix anything when it works fine with me! BLAZE2.0 is all right on my system! :-*


CU! ;D

Uguel

[snowbound]

Ohh! I almost forgot

All of u are invited over to my house for a traditional canadian breakfast, back bacon and beer.

UgueL707, being canadian( i think) already knows of this fine cuizine that has been a canadian staple for centuries.

Date to be set later.

UPDATE- so far so good with the BLAZE2.0

Bye for now
Snowbound

[LowWaterMark]

Hmm, why am I getting concerned? ???

Why are the hairs on the back of my neck standing up? :-\

Why do I feel like I'm watching an accident happen in slow motion and I can't do anything about it? :o

-{ Quote: "Bye for now" }-

I hope that's not the last post we'll ever see from snowbound. :P

[the Tester]

Snowbound.

Did you say that your wife takes karate classes? :o
Hmmm.
You probably want to avoid confrontation/getting her PO'd.

Seriously though,
Getting a pc for your wife sounds like a good idea.

[RJ100]

-{ Quote: "Seriously though,
Getting a pc for your wife sounds like a good idea." }-

Hey , I know.... The love will flow if you buy her one of these... ;)


http://www.go-l.com/_images/machl38on.jpg (http://www.go-l.com/desktops/machl38/features/index.htm)

Take care

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "Hey , I know.... The love will flow if you buy her one of these... ;)


http://www.go-l.com/_images/machl38on.jpg (http://www.go-l.com/desktops/machl38/features/index.htm)
" }-

Shoot, I'll love :o you if you buy me one. ;D

[snowbound]

Looks like a good choice for second pc. ;D

How much is the mach3.8 super computer anyway? :o

Since it was Low Water Marks idea in the first place to buy NO.2 pc for my wife i was thinking maybe he could float me a loan to purchase this bad boy computer.

Whata u say LWM can u help me out? ;)


Snowbound

[LowWaterMark]

No problem!! I'll speak to my good friend Noneck on your behalf. I think interest rates are a mere 50% (per week) currently. How much did you want? ;D

[snowbound]

LOL :D


Ohh man! caught me off guard. :P

[solarpowered candle]

you could of course show her the daily Zen page or such , a definite compliment to the karate , this may soften her approach to a second pc http://www.dailyzen.com/default.asp

[snowbound]

Thanks solarpoweredcandle ;D

I think your on to something here. With the combination of karate and dailyzen, and the BLAZE2.0, i think my computer problems could be over!

Hey LowWaterMark, would u like to come over and see a demonstration of my wifes karate skills?

She's always looking for someone else to practise other than me! ;)

Snowbound

[LowWaterMark]

-{ Quote: " quoting: snowbound link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=15#msg99972 date=1068353579]Hey LowWaterMark, would u like to come over and see a demonstration of my wifes karate skills?" }-

I'll get back to you on that. But, feel free to start without me. :P

[RJ100]

-{ Quote: " quoting: LowWaterMark link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=15#msg99962 date=1068350371]
No problem!! I'll speak to my good friend Noneck on your behalf. I think interest rates are a mere 50% (per week) currently. How much did you want? ;D
" }-

Just thought you may want to see a picture of Noneck to get aqainted...
Last loan I got was all good....., oh, just don't miss a payment! hehe.... :o

[snowbound]

Think i'll pass on noneck :o
Thanks anway LWM

My life's in enough danger just trying to dodge my wife's karate kicks..... heeeee yaaaaaaa! ohhhhffffffff not there again, ooooooouch! :P

[Acadia]

Hey Snowbound, maybe your wife could soften up Noneck for us then we could all start getting low interest loans!! :D

Acadia

[snowbound]

Hey, that's a great idea acadia! ;D

I'll go ask her now.

Can i mention that it was your idea? ;)

[Acadia]

-{ Quote: " quoting: snowbound link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=30#msg100052 date=1068396152]
Can i mention that it was your idea?
" }-

Sure, if it's safe! :o

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "Sure, if it's safe! :o
" }-

I think I'd feel safer. Vrroom, Vrroom!! ;D ;D ;D

[Cochise]

Hiya Snowbound,

I think you might find the answer to all your probs on the 'My GSM' Thread. LOL

It can't hurt you to give it a try!

Regards Cochise. 8)

[snowbound]

Thanks cochise, i need more information though
(check your thread) ;)

Hey, i'm a junior member! ;D

I guess my big mouth finally did get me somewhere.

Hey beetlejuice, do u think u could put a spell on my wife so i could survive long enough to become a full member? ;)

[Acadia]

-{ Quote: " quoting: snowbound link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=30#msg100168 date=1068419987]
Hey beetlejuice, do u think u could put a spell on my wife so i could survive long enough to become a full member?" }-

Snowbound, be careful what you ask Beetlejuice for. He tried to save me from a spell that Peaches used to turn me into a frog. But BJ ended up turning me into something much more ugly: Bill Gates. :'(

Acadia

[snowbound]

Yikes! :o

There a spell gone wrong!

Sorry acadia, i feel for ya

Better get peaches to change u back. I'd take a frog any day over Mr. ugly!

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "Hey beetlejuice, do u think u could put a spell on my wife so i could survive long enough to become a full member" }-

Well snowbound, I'll try it if that's what you really want. I've never been that good at making women submissive. I'd probably have better luck getting LWM and Noneck to buy all of us Mach3.8's with no interest and double your money back guarantees, and we'd get to keep the computers. OK, you said she knows karate right? Afraid she'll beat you up? I think I can fix that.


Hocus Pocus!!


Ummm. Nothing. Oh I know.




Shazam!!!



POOF!!!






http://www.gifs.net/animate/a1dragon.gif









Oh, Oh! :o Well, at least she won't be able to beat you up! I hope you like it really, really warm? :-\


PS. Try to keep your head down will ya?

[snowbound]

Thanks beetlejuice! ;D

That's actually an improvement. I can stand a little heat.

This thing might be easier to tame than her! ;)

[Acadia]

"Rivet" Translation: Hey Bettlejuice, think you could TEMPORARILY turn me into that too. There are a couple of supervisors where I work that I'd like to meet while I'm in that condition. ;)

Acadia

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: ""Rivet" Translation: Hey Bettlejuice, think you could TEMPORARILY turn me into that too. There are a couple of supervisors where I work that I'd like to meet while I'm in that condition. ;)

Acadia
" }-

Acadia, your request is granted. But instead of a dragon, I think this might help your bosses understand where you're coming from a little better!! ;D ;D ;D







http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0088247/Terminator_PUB10.jpg

[Acadia]

Hey, Beetlejuice, I'm not seeing anything. I turned off all my security settings and I'm still not seeing anything. As far as I know, I'm still a frog, oops, I mean, "Rivet". ???

Acadia

[LowWaterMark]

Some web servers do not allow direct linking of the images they serve from remote based pages. Whenever you see a broken image placeholder (like in the post above), just right-click on it and select Properties. You can see the URL of the image that way. Then put that in your browser's address bar and draw up the image directly. In this case the image is at:

http:// i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0088247/Terminator_PUB10.jpg

- Note that this link is deliberately broken because it would still generate an error to click directly on it. Copy, paste and repair the link into your address bar.

[Acadia]

LWM: Thank you.

BJ: Not bad, not bad at all, and this means I don’t have to "Rivet" anymore either. Just make sure to turn me back, and I don’t mean back into a frog either. Now ... where are those two supervisors ...

Acadia

[Cochise]

Just another little thought for you to ponder over Snowbound, that suggestion someone made about you buying your good Lady her own OS????

She boots it up, she comes on to Wilders?, she finds ten Forward?, she finds this Thread????......

How do you feel about trying to get your keyboard out of your mouth or worse, some other orifice......I don't even want to think about where you might have to have your mouse surgically removed from.......

Regards Cochise, 8) :o

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "She boots it up, she comes on to Wilders?, she finds ten Forward?, she finds this Thread????......
" }-

;D Snowbound. I have a perfect solution to your problem. Just pretend that you're Bill Clinton and remove the "W" from the keyboard! ;) ;) ;) ;D ;D ;D She can't see what she can't type!!! :D :D

[snowbound]

Good thinking beetlejuice! ;D

Cochise's post had me running scared! :o

Removal of a dell 8200, keyboard,mouse and 19 inch monitor from my "u know what" could be very tricky surgery! :o

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "Removal of a dell 8200, keyboard,mouse and 19 inch monitor from my "u know what" could be very tricky surgery! :o" }-


OUCH!!!!!!

[snowbound]

And i forgot about the printer! :o

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "And i forgot about the printer! :o" }-

Well I guess a whole computer's better than a Porsche 911!! ::) Just a little less ouch!! ;D

[snowbound]

LOL

U got that right beetlejuice! :D


There's a car that would have no resale value! ;)

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "There's a car that would have no resale value! ;)
" }-

Unless you sold it to someone who worked in an anchovy canning factory!! ::)

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: " quoting: LowWaterMark link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=30#msg100325 date=1068485811]
Some web servers do not allow direct linking of the images they serve from remote based pages. Whenever you see a broken image placeholder (like in the post above), just right-click on it and select Properties. You can see the URL of the image that way. Then put that in your browser's address bar and draw up the image directly. In this case the image is at:

http:// i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0088247/Terminator_PUB10.jpg

- Note that this link is deliberately broken because it would still generate an error to click directly on it. Copy, paste and repair the link into your address bar.
" }-

Hey LWM. Why can I see the image? ??? Is it because I posted it? ???

[Pieter_Arntz]

-{ Quote: " quoting: beetlejuice link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=45#msg100516 date=1068552863]
Hey LWM. Why can I see the image? ??? Is it because I posted it? ???
" }-

Hi beetlejuice,

Clear your Temp Internet Files and try again. ;)

Regards,

Pieter

[Acadia]

Ok Beetlejuice, thanks, that was most satisfying. There are supervisor body parts all over the office. I never thought I would ever be interested in blood and gore but I guess it depends who you’re tearing apart. Ok BJ, you can turn me back into a human now ... Beetlejuice ... Beetlejuice ... Beetlejuice!

[Pieter_Arntz]

Ohoh, he must have misunderstood me. I don't know what he cleaned out, but he went off-line all of a sudden. :o

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "Ok BJ, you can turn me back into a human now ... Beetlejuice ... Beetlejuice ... Beetlejuice!
" }-

Glad I could bring some happiness to your day. The only thing that was bothering me is that you were running around in public without any clothes on. Let's see if we can fix that.



Alazazam!!








http://www.gifs.net/animate/cheerldr.gif







Oh, Oh? :o

Maybe you said the last Beetlejuice to loud.

[Acadia]

Beetlejuice!!! >:( >:( >:( >:(

My wife says the frog was better, I least I kept the gazebo free of flies!

Oh, well, as long as I’m a cheerleader I might as well take advantage of it a give a cheer:

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, he’s NOT our man,
his spells are more worthless than an inbox full of Spam,
if you’re in trouble and want to make you problems go away,
Don’t call for the Juice, don’t call for the ole BJ.

Acadia

[Pieter_Arntz]

Hi Rivet,

Don't tempt him. ;)

[Acadia]

Love it! Who did that? Was that you Pieter or was that LWM, the infamous perpetrator of the Halloween shenanigans?

Acadia

[Pieter_Arntz]

That was me. I'm trying to figure out some of the tricks LWM used, but he must have been busy all Halloween to pull that off.

I think I can restore your name. At least I hope so. ;)

Pieter

[Acadia]

-{ Quote: " quoting: Pieter_Arntz link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=60#msg100547 date=1068562269]
I think I can restore your name. At least I hope so. ;)
" }-

I hope so too. That's all I would need, to go thru life as a cheerleader by the name of Rivet!

Acadia or Rivet

[Pieter_Arntz]

Almost there. ;D

[beetlejuice]

Hi Acadia
aka. Rivet :o


-{ Quote: "Almost there. ;D
" }-


Hi Pieter, are you my long lost brother? ??? Now it looks like you can say OH, OH. :o
Glad to see I'm not the only one who goofs!! ;D ;D

Acadia, what are you going to do if he can't change you back? :o Oh my!! Sentenced to life as a cheerleader--eating flys!! :o
Well, I have heard they are a--- http://www.wilderssecurity.com/attachments/gack.gif nutritious.

[snowbound]

And beetlejuice can be your

date after the game! :o

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "date after the game! :o
" }-

We are still invited over to your house for T-Dinner and football aren't we? ??? For your sake-I hope so!!! :o
Muah ha ha ha ha !!!

[snowbound]

:o :o :o :o :o :o

Sure, i don't want to get on your bad side! ;)

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: " :o :o :o :o :o :o

Sure, i don't want to get on your bad side! ;)
" }-

Can Acadia aka Rivet come too? We might have to get his dinner from the pet store-I think they still sell flys in bulk. Besides, we'll have our own cheerleader for the games!!! ;D ;D ;D I can see it now-----

Go team, go.
My thumb in your eye.
Gimme, gimme some yummy flys!! ;D ;D ;D

[Acadia]

-{ Quote: " quoting: beetlejuice link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=60#msg100638 date=1068588581]
Acadia, what are you going to do if he can't change you back? " }-

Beetlejuice, you are trying to confuse me (not hard to do), it was YOU who made me a cheerleader. All Pieter did was temporarily change my name. So I no longer have to eat flies BUT my wife does NOT like being married to another women so you might want to think about changing me back to my original sex. My wife might not know karate BUT you ought to see her fingernails; those things ought to be registered as lethal weapons.

Acadia or Rivet

[snowbound]

-{ Quote: " quoting: Acadia link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=60#msg100653 date=1068593987]
married to another women

" }-

Hey acadia,

There could be an advantage to this.
At least she won't yell at u for leaving the toilet seat up any more! ;)

[beetlejuice]

-{ Quote: "
All Pieter did was temporarily change my name.
Acadia or Rivet
" }-

I was referring to the (aka Rivet) part about the flys. Looks to me like the name change might be more than temporary seeing the amount of time that has passed since Pieter said that he was working on it. :o Oh well, if you're going to whine :'( about it, I will try to change you back. OK, here goes.



Abracabra, Alakazam, Shooba Dooba, Kalblamm!!!










POOF, POOF!! :o :o Oh, Oh. That didn't sound good. I wonder what's happened now? ???










http://www.gifs.net/animate/a5_192.gif









Oh, Oh!! I guess when you made such a big deal about your wifes fingernails, I was thinking about them being like lethal weapons when I cast the spell. Well at least your male again, and having your wife be like a tigress isn't so bad. At the very least it will add a lot of excitement to your marriage. You might want to get ahold of snowbound. I heard he has experience at training wild wifes. Oh, and you might want to run (and I do mean run) to the store and get some cat treats. That might calm her down a little. Good luck to you my friend. Take care. ;D ;D ;D

P.S. You do have your life insurance paid up don't you?

[snowbound]

-{ Quote: " quoting: beetlejuice link=board=27;threadid=16014;start=60#msg100675 date=1068600629]
training wild wifes.
" }-

Hey acadia,
I can definitely help u with that! ;)

In all seriousness guys, my wife is a great gal. If u can believe this, we have only been married for 6 months.

I still can't believe to this day that she picked me to spend her live with. Believe me guys, i can be a handful at times.

She does have a bit of a temper and coupled with her karate skills well, that can be a little frightening at times :o
but it has been great so far.
There is no one else i would rather take this rollercoaster ride called "life" with. :)

Christmas is coming and no.2 computer looks like a nice gift for my better half.

It's been a hoot guys, thanks for all the laughs :D


Snowbound