Antus
May 2nd, 2006, 05:21 AM
If ONLY they stayed this innocent!!!!
>
> >
>
> NUDITY
>
> I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I
was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
> shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!
>
>
>
>
>
> HONESTY
>
> My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the
> bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in
the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
> garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
> then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
> little smile, "We better throw this one out too
> then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
>
>
>
>
>
> OPINIONS
>
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by these children are not
> necessarily those of his parents."
>
>
>
> KETCHUP
>
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come
out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so
she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child
> said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't
come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
>hitting the bottle."
>
>
>
>
>
> MORE NUDITY
>
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels
and running for cover. The little boy
> watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
>
>
>
>
>
> ELDERLY
>
> While working for an organization that delivers
> lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
> various appliances of old age, particularly the
> canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly
intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
> pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
> myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will
never believe this!"
>
>
>
>
>
> DRESS-UP
>
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
> that suit."
> "And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next
morning."
>
>
>
>
>
> SCHOOL
>
> A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"
>
>
>
>
>
> BIBLE
>
> A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
> up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
> old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What
have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear
>
> >
>
> NUDITY
>
> I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I
was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
> shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!
>
>
>
>
>
> HONESTY
>
> My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the
> bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in
the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
> garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
> then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
> little smile, "We better throw this one out too
> then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
>
>
>
>
>
> OPINIONS
>
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by these children are not
> necessarily those of his parents."
>
>
>
> KETCHUP
>
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come
out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so
she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child
> said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't
come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
>hitting the bottle."
>
>
>
>
>
> MORE NUDITY
>
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels
and running for cover. The little boy
> watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
>
>
>
>
>
> ELDERLY
>
> While working for an organization that delivers
> lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
> various appliances of old age, particularly the
> canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly
intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
> pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
> myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will
never believe this!"
>
>
>
>
>
> DRESS-UP
>
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
> that suit."
> "And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next
morning."
>
>
>
>
>
> SCHOOL
>
> A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"
>
>
>
>
>
> BIBLE
>
> A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
> up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
> old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What
have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear