Are you an android?

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this is a question i've been meaning to ask for sometime.

to put it bluntly - are you an android? i.e a simulcrum?
perhaps you are and don't realise it? maybe no one has ever told you?

how about an alien? is there anything in your family history that suggests extra-terrestial origins? have you ever under hypnosis started talking fluent martian?

or maybe you are a vampire? do you drink bloody marys? have you ever wanted to bleed your loved one dry?

are there any software developers out there who are writing software that can detect aliens androids or vampires?

what kind of tests would determine whether you are an android or a human?

do you suspect that your partner or perhaps your boss is an android?

would you like to be able to test your suspicions?

and have you ever told a psychiatrist that you suspect he is not of this world?

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was a pyschedelic substance slipped into your coffee a few months ago unbeknownst to you?

have you been hallucinating ever since? are you under the impression you are viewing a message on a message board - worse - are you under the delusion that you are actually replying to the message?

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do you think you are in control of your own mind? do you think you have free will?

isn't it possible that Elton Bong - currently residing in the Napolean Bonaparte rest home for sufferers of delusions of grandeur is in fact an advanced telepath who can not only read your mind but control it, direct it and even replace your mind with his?

[Cochise]

Sorrrrrrry..........Mmmmmmzzzdikd-d-.......................Question does not........crrrrrtiktik.......crititiktiktik..9ikdikdikk...Compute.....nnnnnditdit.......not compute............rrrrrrrrrrrrrbibipp......Repeat....Reapeeeeat....


Corrrrrrrchisetiktik,8)....MADE IN ENGLAND..

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are you all you appear to be? do you have an alter ego? are you leading a double life? are you mr and mrs respectable to the good towns folk but secretly you have a fake passport in another identity and smuggle Cheerios into the Virgin islands?

do you make blue movies and even green ones?

and most important of all - is Raunchy Rita as innocent as she appears?

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-{ Quote: "Sorrrrrrry..........Mmmmmmzzzdikd-d-.......................Question does not........crrrrrtiktik.......crititiktiktik..9ikdikdikk...Compute.....nnnnnditdit.......not compute............rrrrrrrrrrrrrbibipp......Repeat....Reapeeeeat....


Corrrrrrrchisetiktik,8)....MADE IN ENGLAND.." }-

i will take a guess here Cochise - from your erratic speech i think you are a human who has drunk a few too many creme de menthes BUT it is possible that all the women in your town are stepford wives!!!! :lurking:

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pliasi noti dui to high dimand thire is currintly a shortagi of the littir E - plisi riplaci this littir with thi littir I until furthir notici. thank you.

[Cochise]

-{ Quote: "i will take a guess here Cochise - from your erratic speech i think you are a human who has drunk a few too many creme de menthes BUT it is possible that all the women in your town are stepford wives!!!! :lurking:" }-



I WISH..........;D ;D


Cochise,8)..Slavering in Slovakia...

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greetings earthling - i have travelled many light years from a distant star system - do you have change for the parking meter?

sorry mate i'n not an earthling, i'm a mark 2 android and i have no coinage in my system.

oh ok then - er excuse me yoo hoo i have travelled many lights years from a distant star system, do you have change for the parking meter?

sorry but i'm an alien too - just had my spaceship towed away cause i didn't have any change either.

hmmmm ok - excuse me do you have any change?

i do have change but i am a mark 3 semi intelligent vending machine who is not authorised to give change to aliens.

[toploader]

these two (http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/07/16/stepfordwives_wideweb__430x280.gif) look highly suspicious, Cochise - if i were you i would take them in for further testing.

[Smokey]

-{ Quote: "and have you ever told a psychiatrist that you suspect he is not of this world?" }-
There was a time, not long ago, i was in real trouble.

Man, i didn't know i was android or an alien.

I was looking for help, and found a shrink, expert in android affairs.

He adviced me to drink this medicin, and after drinking it, i knew where my roots are:

[Cochise]

-{ Quote: "these two (http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/07/16/stepfordwives_wideweb__430x280.gif) look highly suspicious, Cochise - if i were you i would take them in for further testing." }-

Many thanks toploader for entrusting this most delicate investigative task to my good self.....I will do my very best to prove your suspicions either way.....

I have already made contact with the two suspects and I have been invited back to their homes to stay a while for further analysis.........

I will report back in maybe a few months or more, if atall......but at least you'll know that your theory was correct if you never hear from again.....Please do not worry about me.......I feel quite sure I will have died very happy and exceedingly contented......


Cochise,8) Scoring in Stepford....

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-{ Quote: "There was a time, not long ago, i was in real trouble.

Man, i didn't know i was android or an alien.

I was looking for help, and found a shrink, expert in android affairs.

He adviced me to drink this medicin, and after drinking it, i knew where my roots are:" }-

you have struggled to find the path to self awareness Smokey and i'm sure you will be pleased to know that there are others (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4714135.stm) just like you coming to terms with their identity and purpose. humanoid or android what does it matter as long as there is beer?

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it does my heart good to know that there are those amongst us who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, Cochise. the whole of the humanoid population salutes you.

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probably not an android?

[Smokey]

-{ Quote: "probably not an android?" }-
IMO it's an alien:-\

[Cochise]

Ahhh!...Alas, poor Yoric, I knew him, a man of infinite jest........


Cochise,8) Shakespearing in Shilo.....

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from here on in it starts to get weird (http://members.fortunecity.com/asfr/ehy.html)....

[Firecat]

Desire is irrelevant. I must not let you know what I am.

*Crrk* Adding new words to vocabulary. Healing.....Nanomed+. We treat you right when the world treats you rough :P

[toploader]

i wonder how many men stop on their way to work - peer into a clothing store window and fantasize about marrying a beautiful mannequin?

[toploader]

-{ Quote: "Desire is irrelevant. I must not let you know what I am.

*Crrk* Adding new words to vocabulary. Healing.....Nanomed+. We treat you right when the world treats you rough :P" }-

hmmmm maybe i could make a few bucks teaching androids and mannequins to speak humanoid?

the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain

[bigbuck]

I think the doctor took my androids out when he removed my tonsils! ;D ;)

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good to see they didn't remove your funny bone BB ;D

[bigc73542]

http://www.ultrawalk.com/Animations/2%20Androids%20walking.gif

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aah the march of progress BigC - i read an article that reckons by the year 2050 computers will be more intelligent than humans.

[Cochise]

-{ Quote: "aah the march of progress BigC - i read an article that reckons by the year 2050 computers will be more intelligent than humans." }-


2050??........Mine has got me beat all ends up now..never mind 2050......it tells me what to do and I do it........If I disobey it shuts down my Neuro-motors and stops me pouring another Scotch for me and making a bed-time Ovaltine for the Wife.......how diabolical is that......DO NOT ANNOY THE HDD...You cannot win.............IT knows all.......;D


Cochise,8) Controlled in Colorado...

[Primrose]

I have had problems staying focused lately..8)

http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/web_animations/Focus.swf


But as Big Ed and Cohchise reminded me..The only difference between an android and a himroid is a pair a gorics. ;)

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "aah the march of progress BigC - i read an article that reckons by the year 2050 computers will be more intelligent than humans." }-


We knew that back in the days of pong. ;D


http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/web_animations/humor_pong.swf

[Firecat]

*Crrk* adding new word to database - 'Pong' :P

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having read articles on the net of multiple personality where one guy has 23 seperate personalities inside him of different ages sexes and nationalities then presumably androids could have thousands of seperate android personalities and you would not know from second to second who you were speaking to?

[Primrose]

-{ Quote: "having read articles on the net of multiple personality where one guy has 23 seperate personalities inside him of different ages sexes and nationalities then presumably androids could have thousands of seperate android personalities and you would not know from second to second who you were speaking to?" }-


That explains it then...why just the other day Frosty the Snowman told me his 7-11 ran out of Big Slurpies.;D :-*

Snowman Tales Fiction

http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/rcdownb.htm

http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/rcfic9.htm


http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/rcfic6.htm


http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/rcfic1.htm

http://www.manatee.k12.fl.us/sites/elementary/palmasola/rcfic2.htm